My six year old daughter just accepted into GIFTED PROGRAM! Public school - be worried or proud?

Lots of extra burdensome homework. My kids both got in and got out quickly.

My two middle school aged daughters are both in their schools advanced/gifted programs. It keeps them separated from the the thugs and idiots (always a huge plus), but I have to talk with them EVERYDAY about some dumb shit their teachers say.

For example...

Last week my sixth grader comes to me while I'm helping put dinner on the plates and says "Did you know that teachers in Texas accused a Muslim kid of having a bomb in school when all he had was a clock?"

Needless to say, I was rather concerned (furious) and told her the real story and we all had a hearty laugh about it over dinner.

My when my eighth grader was in seventh grade, her critical thinking class pretty much read books all year and then discussed them. I asked her one day about the books they were reading and she told me the first one was about a racist doctor who didn't want to treat a black kid, and the second one was about a racist white guy and a few Mexicans in a life raft lost at sea.

I was also pretty upset with that and had to have a serious discussion about white guilt and why it's for suckers lol.

However...

They both have an INCREDIBLE civics teacher who inspires them daily. They honestly have a better understanding of our constitution, rights, and freedoms than most adults I know, so we get to have a lot of meaningful discussions that we may not have been able to have yet. They also have awesome science and math teachers.

I have been dealing with it for three years now and I still mixed feelings about it lol

The "gifted program" is the level that used to be the standard learning curve twenty years ago. I've volunteered in both of my kids' classrooms over the years, and I can tell you that the standards have been lowered to teach to the increasing number of ESL and special-ed students in the classroom. For a few years, our district had separate classrooms where kids who were behind could receive more intense one-on-one instruction, but parents complained that they did not want their kids removed from the regular classroom for these services. So, what you have today is the homeroom teacher managing different tiers of learning ability in one classroom whereby the majority of students fall into the lower tier. There are many reasons for this. I've already mentioned two above, but there are a myriad of behavioral problems and learning disabilities that make up a large percentage of the classroom today. Those students who are of normal development and who have the English language basics down are therefore deemed "gifted."

I have two in the program, both boys. The upside is they learn so much more and have more opportunities. The down side I've found is that if my kids don't score as well as others on tests and projects, they constantly compare themselves to the other kids in class and worry they are not smart enough. So it can hurt their confidence because they are constantly around high performers. This is what I don't like about the program.

Yes two so far- possible third next year. At this point I'm not worried about it. We'll see when they hit middle school
Congrats!!!

Best wishes OP. She will be fine. If it turns out not to be for her that is fine also. Just stay in tune with what's going on - and public, private, or homeschool - in all situations the balance and effort parents put in does make a difference.

I try and incorporate a lot of natural history lessons and science into our leisure activities and have since my son was very small - the results have paid off and teachers comment to me about what he knows just from our family "field trips" -

Also a really big HUGE HUGE HUGE help - was I hired a tutor once a week - not because he was behind but to have extra reinforcement and security in his subjects - so if one week it was math they did math - next week maybe reading or writing - I did this so he could have an on target tutor familiar with the way they teach now (which is not how I learned so many years ago) and two, so he never had a time of loss of confidence and so that he and I - DID NOT ENGAGE IN POWER STRUGGLES over his work. I think its also helpful this is a different person than me. He gets enough direction from me about life stuff - and he listens his tutors more about school then he would do for me.

Look online OP, there are articles about how helpful tutors can be so that anxiety never happens - once that anxiety cycle starts up it can be a hurdle for kids. So instead of yelling or frustration and tears about homework I had a tutor that keep all those struggles at bay.

The result is my son is super confident now, in all advanced classes - while some of his friends are slipping behind and FIGHTING LIKE CATS AND DOGS with their parents.

My son does not have his tutor this year, but he knows if he gets to a point he needs one all he has to do is ask. Those tutors over the years were a godsend and helped him to hone in on his abilities, offered encouragement and helped him develop a solid work ethic. It was the best thing I ever did.

Thanks for the real advice!

No problem at all. And congrats to your daughter for being smart as hell!!!

My youngest was in the gifted program, and also skipped a grade. If your daughter is very advanced, you might want to consider bumping her up a grade, if the school district allows this. The maturity level of a gifted child is generally years ahead of her classmates. A year makes a very big difference.The social aspects of school were not affected by my daughter skipping a grade.
When my daughter was in 3rd grade, I was told there was nothing left to teach her at the grade school level. The Teachers were supplying her with books and materials at the 8th grade level.I was supplying her with high school and college books. She finished up 5th grade at her elementary school, started 6th grade at the middle school, and then skipped to 8th grade. She is now in her last year of college.
Whatever advanced classes they offer your daughter, encourage her to take them. Don't push her though. She has to want to do this.

Be proud of her of course!
Be proud of her accomplishments!

You may also allow h3r to decide if ßhe would like to try the program and she càn stop going if she doesn't like it.

I have three who did the gifted now...they received full scholarships to college and they all went.

I'm not afraid of the public school system because as their parent I keep them informed of important issues age appropriate of course so they are aware of the other side of the so called truths we all have to muddle our way through...

Both of my kids went through gifted at a public school, but it kind of depends on the school and the state. Due to budget cuts, a lot of schools are dropping their programs. My kids did well - can't say I have any regrets.

My son spent grade-school in the gifted program. I think it's a good thing, partly because it groups your child with other smart kids.

If your kid is in public school, these are the kids you'll WANT your child associating with. That alone, IMO, makes it a good idea.