My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm worried about the 195 lbs. I've gained.
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
The speed in which a woman says "nothing" .. when asked "What's wrong?" is proportional to the severity of the shit storm that's coming.
Denny's has a slogan, 'If it's your birthday, the meal is on us.' If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday... your life sucks!
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "Thank you" is all I need, not all this, "how did you get in my house" business!
On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week; whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. ...This is upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese!
I can't understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor"
I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see them pick their nose?
When I die I want to be reincarnated as a spider. Just so I can finally hear a women say "Oh my God, it's huge.
You can't unsee what you just saw.
Don't take life too seriously, it's not like anyone ever survived it.
United States