Home Security

The older we get the wiser we become.

Last week I Took down our Rebel flag and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door.

We've disconnected our home alarm system and quit our candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.

Bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black ISIS flag in the center.

Now the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7.

I've never felt safer and we're saving $49.95 a month.