Godlike Productions - Discussion Forum
Users Online Now: 1,646 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 166,116
Pageviews Today: 277,813Threads Today: 88Posts Today: 1,638
03:36 AM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements

 
Shut Up Meg
Offer Upgrade

User ID: 63304242
United States
08/21/2015 08:41 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
Whilst checking Twitter for trending financial doom I ran across this:

#Bad In Flight Announcements

Hilarious! Can you top them?

"This isn't your pilot speaking."

"We have a slight problem, I hope everyone's dental records are up to date."

"If you look to your right you'll see Flight 1203 is challenging us to a race. Buckle up folks!"

"For in-flight entertainment today the Captain has decided to see if the Bermuda Triangle really exists."

[link to mobile.twitter.com (secure)]

Last Edited by Shut Up Meg on 08/21/2015 08:50 AM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 68897468
United States
08/21/2015 08:48 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
From back when we allowed smoking on board....


"Put out them butts, put on those belts...we're bringin' this mother in..."

cool2
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 66536841
United Kingdom
08/21/2015 08:51 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
''This is your Pilot speaking!....it can be fixed''
Shut Up Meg  (OP)

User ID: 63304242
United States
08/21/2015 08:53 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
"The fuel light's on Gary! We're gonna die! We're gonna die! Oh wait, my bad, it was just the intercom."

Last Edited by Shut Up Meg on 08/21/2015 08:53 AM
Bobby Bill
User ID: 30380629
United States
08/21/2015 08:59 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
From about 30 years ago ----- "This is your pilot.....we have a developing oil leak. If it doesn't worsen, we should arrive in Honolulu in about three hours. If it does worsen, thank you for flying Pan Am."
Shut Up Meg  (OP)

User ID: 63304242
United States
08/21/2015 09:01 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
From back when we allowed smoking on board....


"Put out them butts, put on those belts...we're bringin' this mother in..."

cool2
 Quoting: CalculusOfTheMind


lmao - Woh - I can't imagine what that must have been like, smoking section on planes. The good old days stoner

s lucky

Last Edited by Shut Up Meg on 08/21/2015 09:04 AM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17321026
United States
08/21/2015 09:01 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
Nth is is your pilot, bend over, and kiss your asses goodbye..
Shut Up Meg  (OP)

User ID: 63304242
United States
08/21/2015 09:03 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
From about 30 years ago ----- "This is your pilot.....we have a developing oil leak. If it doesn't worsen, we should arrive in Honolulu in about three hours. If it does worsen, thank you for flying Pan Am."
 Quoting: Bobby Bill 30380629


AaaaaHHHhhhhh!!!! dance lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 66536841
United Kingdom
08/21/2015 09:08 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
''This is your pilot Speaking....we're currently flying at 98 thousand feet...and rising''
beeches

User ID: 69710263
United States
08/21/2015 09:08 AM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
Whilst checking Twitter for trending financial doom I ran across this:

#Bad In Flight Announcements

Hilarious! Can you top them?

"This isn't your pilot speaking."

"We have a slight problem, I hope everyone's dental records are up to date."

"If you look to your right you'll see Flight 1203 is challenging us to a race. Buckle up folks!"

"For in-flight entertainment today the Captain has decided to see if the Bermuda Triangle really exists."

[link to mobile.twitter.com (secure)]
 Quoting: Shut Up Meg


I would crawl under the seat and not come up til the landing. Honest.
Liberalism is totalitarianism with a human face – Thomas Sowell
Shut Up Meg  (OP)

User ID: 63304242
United States
08/21/2015 09:20 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
"In the event of a water landing, those of you who can't swim please stay on board and look after our stuff."
INK
User ID: 69876559
United States
08/21/2015 09:25 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
From back when we allowed smoking on board....


"Put out them butts, put on those belts...we're bringin' this mother in..."

cool2
 Quoting: CalculusOfTheMind


lmao - Woh - I can't imagine what that must have been like, smoking section on planes. The good old days stoner

s lucky
 Quoting: Shut Up Meg


It was great! I was a smoker at the time and I'd like my Winston and order a drink. I was 21 at the time.
INK
User ID: 69876559
United States
08/21/2015 09:25 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
Light my Winston. Although I did like them too.
INK
User ID: 69876559
United States
08/21/2015 09:32 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
"In the event of a water landing, those of you who can't swim please stay on board and look after our stuff."
 Quoting: Shut Up Meg


LOL! Good one.
Shut Up Meg  (OP)

User ID: 63304242
United States
08/21/2015 09:39 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
K, just saw this one on Twit:

"Do we have any volunteers to stick their arms out a window and flap real hard?"

Last Edited by Shut Up Meg on 08/21/2015 09:39 AM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 70103934
United Kingdom
08/21/2015 09:40 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
leaves intercom on

"that runway looks awful short!"

.."I know, but look how fucking wide it is!"
Shut Up Meg  (OP)

User ID: 63304242
United States
08/21/2015 09:42 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
leaves intercom on

"that runway looks awful short!"

.."I know, but look how fucking wide it is!"
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70103934


1rof11rof11rof1
Sock Cooker
User ID: 23646061
United Kingdom
08/21/2015 09:58 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
"For those of you seated in the First Class cabin, please inflate your life jackets and use the wings to descend onto the dinghies. For those of you sitting in Economy...thank you for flying Lufthansa."

"The question is, was that a failed takeoff attempt, or a very long wheelie?"
Shut Up Meg  (OP)

User ID: 63304242
United States
08/21/2015 10:25 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
Whilst checking Twitter for trending financial doom I ran across this:

#Bad In Flight Announcements

Hilarious! Can you top them?

"This isn't your pilot speaking."

"We have a slight problem, I hope everyone's dental records are up to date."

"If you look to your right you'll see Flight 1203 is challenging us to a race. Buckle up folks!"

"For in-flight entertainment today the Captain has decided to see if the Bermuda Triangle really exists."

[link to mobile.twitter.com (secure)]
 Quoting: Shut Up Meg


I would crawl under the seat and not come up til the landing. Honest.
 Quoting: beeches


I hear ya Beeches, I've always been a nervous flyer after 911 , it would prolly take me a minute to figure out they were joking. lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 41976685
Germany
08/21/2015 12:00 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
"Fasten your seatbelts... .....I'm gonna try something" (Steven Wright)
Shut Up Meg  (OP)

User ID: 63304242
United States
08/21/2015 12:39 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
"Fasten your seatbelts... .....I'm gonna try something" (Steven Wright)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 41976685


^ ~ lmao lolsign ~^

------------------------------------->

"Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and welcome to Jackass!"
beeches

User ID: 69710263
United States
08/21/2015 01:41 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
Can't let this thread go by without some kind of video:


bless this guy. I might even fly sober with him to make me laugh!




Liberalism is totalitarianism with a human face – Thomas Sowell
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63435862
United States
08/21/2015 02:05 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
This was on Amtrack from Kingman, AZ to St. Louis. First of all the train was late because the west bound train hit a hobo on the tracks 1/4 mile east of the station. So they had to investigate that. The next day we are traveling through New Mexico and the train stops in the middle of no where. We see train people outside and looking back at the train. Next came the announcement: "Does anyone have any duct tape so we can fix the train?"
After about an hour we restarted but without use of the resturant car, the smoking car and all the bathrooms for the next 4 hours into Albuquerque, NM.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 70114662
United Kingdom
08/21/2015 02:09 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
Heres a good in-flight announcement...

"Welcome to Yorkshire Airlines..."

Shut Up Meg  (OP)

User ID: 63304242
United States
08/21/2015 10:51 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
"Bill Cosby will be by in a moment to take your drink order."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 53192643
United States
08/21/2015 10:54 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
Right rear down and back up. Left rear down and back up.
Both rear down hard and dropped the nose.
"Sorry for that landing. The copilot brought is in today. "
Shut Up Meg  (OP)

User ID: 63304242
United States
09/03/2015 03:55 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
Can't let this thread go by without some kind of video:


bless this guy. I might even fly sober with him to make me laugh!




 Quoting: beeches


LMaO!!!!!!! Just saw this! 1rof11rof1
ZooWatcher

User ID: 68851417
United States
09/03/2015 03:58 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
leaves intercom on

"that runway looks awful short!"

.."I know, but look how fucking wide it is!"
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70103934


1rof11rof11rof1
 Quoting: Shut Up Meg



giggling out loud here thank you!!

5 stars!
You can't unsee what you just saw.

Don't take life too seriously, it's not like anyone ever survived it.
lightchild_uk
Waiting for IT

User ID: 60327155
United Kingdom
09/03/2015 03:59 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
Heres a good in-flight announcement...

"Welcome to Yorkshire Airlines..."


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70114662


This time in English, well Yorkshire



[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
Shut Up Meg  (OP)

User ID: 63304242
United States
09/03/2015 04:12 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: DOOM BREAK: Bad In-Flight Announcements
"Our flight time is around 5 hours, which gives me just enough time to talk to you all about AMWAY!"





GLP