Working On Yourself: Tips, Advice, Suggestions and Stories.

Letting go my ego, doing the opposite of what id normally do, for example if i had the urge to say something mean id say something nice, or if id normally say sonwthing nice and fake is say something rude and jokingly. Just doingthungs out of the norm has helped me enjoy the day and laugh.

That's simple but powerful enough to spark a significant change and shift in perspective. Plus I would imagine it helps keep life fresh and exciting instead of like you're just stuck in a mundane rut. Thank you!

Anyone else?

write an honest list of pros and cons about yourself.
Work on the cons.

Rudeness is not a positive attribute. Why would you entice negative karma?

Meditation and prayer are based on triggering the relaxation response, learn how to do it directly and avoid all the cultural baggage.

Read this; [link to jamesb.hubpages.com]

This is a pretty good form of self-inventory. I like it. Thank you!

Journalling has helped me identify stuff that I wasn't aware of before, and being aware of stuff is key(learning how to be honest with self is key, too).

I like what one other poster talked about too, doing the opposite of what you would normally do- I literally had that thought earlier before I came here today. Breaking out of the mold.

Cool thread!

Step one: Masturbate vigorously

The key is to be extremely honest with yourself Doge.
It's truly not an easy thing to do.

Example: I am female. To gossip has been ingrained in me since birth. But it's a con. Most probably don't see it that way. But gossip hurts people (it's always a negative and 95% of the time a lie that really hurts the person being gossiped about). I no longer do, nor will I listen to it. It wasn't easy to stop (because everybody does it as an axceptable past time) and it took consious discipline on my part to break the habit. But it also took admitting honestly to myself that I was consiously adding to another persons pain and misery. That's not who I am, nor do I ever wish to be.

I'm in a 12 step recovery program called Narcotics Anonymous and the 4th step is doing just that, making a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself. Then in step 5 you are supposed to do a sort of 'confession' with your sponsor where you read out to them every single horrible, shameful and nasty thing you've ever done or thought about doing. To be quite frank with you I have a fear of doing that with another person. I feel like I would hold certain things back and I wouldn't be completely honest. And the only thing holding me back from doing a thorough and sincere inventory is the KNOWING that I will eventually have to share it with another person. Do you, or anyone else reading this, believe it is absolutely necessary to 'confess' certain things to another human being or can one make a 'secret' but thoroughly honest inventory of themselves and then use it as a sort of reminder of what not to do anymore? I'm really not sure.

Thanks for the input! One thing I've always done is wrote with the intention of sharing it with someone. I.E. Blogging, livejournal, etc. I really need to break out of that and write for ME, write for the sake of writing and for self-awareness. As simple as it sounds, it's difficult to do!

Two simple phrases have helped me out , although I don't know why these simple things just help me.


I am SUPER , SUPER , unreal lazy. Sex , money , they mean absolutely nothing to me. I don't need female contact and money is just pieces of green paper that doesn't actually represent anything.

I say ^ just to sort of show you my personality.

But for some reason ,

"Just do it"

and

"You'll thank me later"


Just seems to work for me.

I'm just naturally lazy. I know I want to go to the gym but just can't seem to go , I tell myself "JUST DO IT!" and "You'll thank me later" and I just force myself to go.

Usually after I'm like... Shit , I am glad I went , thanks lol.

Also I'm not religious in any way , but I'm very spiritual , I always remember every single dream every night and I have crazy OOB / lucid dreams every night. Without fail.

Well now I'm trying to be more spiritual , I believe in a next level of consciousness and I believe that we must be positive people in order to make that transition. That entails..

1. Physical health / physically fit. A strong body is a strong mind.

2. Always trust that little voice in the back of your head / never go against your gut. Everyone knows deep down what is right , follow it , and life will be easy. You know if what you're doing is good/bad , always make the right choice.

3. Always be positive. Eliminate all negative thoughts. Negativity vibrates at a lower level and thus will bring you down mentally , phsyically and spiritually. In order to transcend to the next level of consciouness we must be at our best , we must be the change we want to see in the world.

4. Sacrifice your time to help others. Volunteer. If you see a homeless man , even if you are short yourself, give him that $20 you really just don't have...

5. Do not use drugs or alcohol. Not because its bad but because in order to transcend you must have a clear mind and drugs and alcohol cloud the mind of compansionate thoughts/action and also numbs you and brings down your overall vibrational frequency.

6. Stop with the greed / selfishness. If you see someone in need , no matter the situation / embarssement it might bring , stand up and be the better person and simply help them.

7. Start doing things that give you that natural high.

I used to smoke lots of meth... I've done every sort of mind altering substance out there...

Nothing compares to that natural feeling you get when you help someone in need and they just look at you... Stunned...

You know it's a scientific fact that if other people see you doing positive things , there is a huge chance they themselves will do an act of kindness.

Be the change you want to see in the world , stop being selfish and give your time to help others.

This has NOTHING to do with any sort of religious dogma , this is simply a small code that I myself am trying to live by.

Because call me fucking stupid , but if/when a transcendance / rapture happens , I will know deep down that I have done my personal best to be the best person that I know I could be.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and insightful response. I deeply appreciate the time that you took to share that with me and there's much to glean from the wisdom you've found.

I've recently begun exercising and I feel it's been the missing piece to the puzzle. I've always stayed 'mentally fit' but I've slacked in the physical health department and gotten quite out of shape. I'm starting small so as to not overwhelm myself or get burnt out.

As far as chasing that natural high, I whole heartedly agree. One thing I've been wanting to do but haven't mustered up the courage to do is something I've read in another post on here. One user was talking about just going up to random people to tell them they are loved, that they are beautiful and they are appreciated. Or just saying nice things to build people up. Sure they got some strange reactions from folks but all in all the receivers of such spontaneous compliments were touched very deeply and some moved to tears. You never know, you may be the ONLY one who will say those things to that person or maybe they haven't heard those things in such a long time they forgot how it felt. One day I'll try it.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and insightful response. I deeply appreciate the time that you took to share that with me and there's much to glean from the wisdom you've found.

I've recently begun exercising and I feel it's been the missing piece to the puzzle. I've always stayed 'mentally fit' but I've slacked in the physical health department and gotten quite out of shape. I'm starting small so as to not overwhelm myself or get burnt out.

As far as chasing that natural high, I whole heartedly agree. One thing I've been wanting to do but haven't mustered up the courage to do is something I've read in another post on here. One user was talking about just going up to random people to tell them they are loved, that they are beautiful and they are appreciated. Or just saying nice things to build people up. Sure they got some strange reactions from folks but all in all the receivers of such spontaneous compliments were touched very deeply and some moved to tears. You never know, you may be the ONLY one who will say those things to that person or maybe they haven't heard those things in such a long time they forgot how it felt. One day I'll try it.


You're welcome :) I myself who/am an addict of drugs and alcohol and nothing worked.

It took me many , many hard years to learn that my way of life wasn't working. I used to be a hedonist , I would only do something if it brings me pleasure / only I benefit.

I mention dreams/consciousness because my whole life I've always been able to remember my dreams / have had OOB / lucid dream.

Just recently I found that I need to change my way of life. I need to do things not for me , but for others. I have such an amazing life and everyday I used to waste it.

I now realize that people are not as fortunate as me and they need help. I am willingly and capable so I will help and do my best.

It's amazing what type of people you attract simply by being yourself / being a good person.

People like to be around other nice / good people. Just recently I was in an awkward situation where a homeless guy was asking for money / begging. This man obviously has it rough. I don't if it was because of drugs or alcohol but I'm not here to judge.

I went inside , grabbed $50 from the ATM and bought a TON of dry food , stuff he could actually use.

I come outside and people are still like "this fucking homeless guy , just leave no one cares!"

I produly walk up to them man , give hium $50 cash and a few bags full of food. The man just looks at me , a grown man , and I swear he teared up just a bit. You could tell he was just stunned... Here is this young man going out of his way to help... I just told him that I don't judge and if I was in his situation I HOPE someone would be that nice...

People just looked at me like I was CRAZY! But after I left and drove off I could see someone people walk up to him and also start to give him things.

It was AWKWARS as hell , but once I stood up and did the right thing , it was amazing that even just a few people decieded they would help out also...

Sorry for the rant, I also love your last paragraph! People might seem okay on the outside , that person you just stopped and told them they are loved... You could have just stopped that person from committing suicide.

It doesn't matter WHAT you believe in or WHO , the only thing that I believe in is that in the end the good people will be rewarded.

Sorry for all the typos and long post lol.

At work and only have a few minutes left :)

I'm attempting simply not to be unhappy. I don't have a clue what 'happy' really is and no one I've asked does either; in fact they usually get flustered and/or angry when I ask if they're happy.

I've realized that what most makes me unhappy is fear of losing things; not the actual lose, mind you, but the trepidation of taking a hit to my comfort.

Therefore, I'm eliminating things I don't need. Achieving, so far, a spartan existence, and striving for eventual full on Luddite.

Can you elaborate on eliminating things that you don't need? What sort of things, my friend?

Right now it's anything that can't be replaced easily or inexpensively. I'm down to very old gear: Car, appliances, and such. I can replace everything I own for under 3k, not including my books, I couldn't replace those at any price; they're my main anchor. But I plan on giving those to a friend who'll love them as I did.

But it's not just financial. Emotional strain drags me down too. Being attached to people and pets is very depressing. I don't make new friends; I'm down to one good friend as well as I've alienated most. And I won't be bringing any more pets into my house either, they just die or run away. I did consider getting a turtle; it won't run away and should out live me. :D

Doge I would cut step 5 down to only the things you really feel you've done. There is no crime in thought of an action, not carried out. Nor do I see how it would/could have affected your addiction or recovery one way or another.
Everybody has a bad day brother.
If you stole out of your mom's pocket book, then tell her, you will feel better that you did. But if you just thought she was a bitch for not giving you money when you asked for it, then I think you can safely keep that to yourself.
Doge if you are going to seriously hurt another person by your own confession with something that they have absolutely no idea about, put it on your reminder file.

Awesome example!
We're not here to save the world, we're here to set an example for it.

Is the skin of your old life coming off? Don't worry about it and just let it go. It's not just you that it's happened or happening to. It's very important to keep that in mind.

Last Edited by Adams684 on 03/15/2015 03:36 AM

I don't know if anyone else has said this but I think the best thing anyone can do to as far as working on themselves is to just be honest all the time.