this world has too many wicked people in it, who prey on innocents

Thanks. I am not a suicidal person, just acknowledging I don't think G-d wants me here anymore. Maybe I was wrong and my soul mate isn't here and G-d wants us to synch up our lifetimes / births. Idk just trying to read His signs.

Interesting. One of my male friends said that my former bf wanted me to entertain him all the time, that he couldn't handle being alone. He cldnt go read a book all day on his own, he cldnt do a chore on his own....I think these were issues of his condition - being off his medicine / levels not stable or fully effective yet / wrong medicine (few months ago) / non-compliance with medicine.

there is one thing about these CT boards I don't like is that it attracts people either full on mentally unstable / insane or people just not compliant with taking medicine.

Anyway, we are meant to be with our opposite gendered mate....that is part of G-d's plan for all of us. It is in the Torah / bible. We are not meant to be alone. That is my understanding.

Yes they will...and they will move or be moved out of the way quickly and all of their time is quickly drawing to a close.

Thank you. :)

I went through a stage of wondering if I died and was in some kind of purgatory or hell bc things seemed to get really strange for me, but now I realize G-d was showing me things...at least that is my understanding.

I sometimes see myself coming back at me through other people, like oh, that is how someone may have perceived me to act about something in the past. I see that idle words can be a bad thing, so I try to always state something is just my belief, my opinion, etc.

I don't believe this is hell or some kind of purgatory...I do believe it is up to us to make a good (heaven) place here or a bad (hell) place, but I cld be wrong. I just think that is why G-d gave us free-will.....to willingly come to Him, which wld be showing true love not forced submission (like islam seeks to a false god)....I mean, how do you know if someone's love is real unless they are free to choose to love you or not?

I don't think we are in jail here. This is a beautiful world which G-d created for us. Thinking life is jail is a mindset. Are there consequences to our actions....you betcha there are. ... .I have learned when my actions are not in tune with G-d's will for my life that things do not go well and sometimes things go horribly tragically wrong....and for this I have culpability and accountability as I do for all my actions. The first bad things going wrong are warning signs and then it will get worse the more you are off track, especially if you are transgressing / sinning.

Take for instance bearing false witness against someone....this is one of the 10 commandments...if you lie about someone, like my former bf did when he called cops and said I hit him first when he hit me across the face...it was harder then a slap ... it even left bruising....look out for bad things to happen and apparently he is now repeating that lie based on a psychopathic text I rcvd early this am (just after midnight), for his friend aka an ex-gf...she referred to herself as his best friend in texts yesterday, I believe, in another psychopathic text.

G-d knows EVERYTHING. What is in your heart and in your mind everything spoken and unspoken, G-d sees all...there is no escaping G-d, which is why all the bunkers, etc. amuse me. Bunkers for actions humans take is one thing, but bunkers against what G-d sets into motion are another thing and that includes nature.

As far as "karmic" debt, idk if we carry any of that into the next life. We may pay it all in our current life and start with a clean slate or if we are horrible this life, maybe we are born in less than ideal circumstances, but I don't think so, but idk.

I see our life path as a spiral....are we spiraling up toward goodness or are we spiraling downward due to transgressions / sin / immorality and spitting in G-d's face...purposefully going against His will for us and in general.

G-d, our creator, is imho very logical, but also loving, but not a doormat - we can be chastised by Him, imho. So, does it follow there is order and rules and outcomes based on input? To me, yes....it's almost like a huge computer program.....if then else.

but, who knows really? Only G-d and instead of trying to figure out xyz why not do what we are here to do instead? If you flow with G-d I think things go very wonderfully ans swimmingly in one's life. imo, based upon my personal observations of things and my life.

Only if we don't learn from it...

Interesting post. He at one point did say something about killing the cats, this when he was off his medicine, and then before he was in the hospital here again just recently he said he wanted to murder me, but I felt these were all idle threats bc he seemed to love the kitties and me and the kitties took to him.

Sometimes people say things they don't mean out of anger or despair,

but

this post is not about him, it was the machinations of two women which caused me to feel the world is kaput. Too broken. I am not saying there are no good people out there, I know there are. I'm just taking in the balance, looking at how I see the scales are tipped and what I conclude is not good. Was it momentary? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

Idk yet...I will see what happens and make my life / no life plans as I see how G-d guides me.

Thanks for your input.

Last Edited by g.r.i.t.s. on 03/01/2015 12:29 PM

Nope. We are not animals.

My cousin has had part of her tongue removed due to cancer. She went through an operation that lasted over 12 hours to remove cancer from her neck. Ever since the surgery...months ago...she has been 'fed' through a tube in her stomach. She can barely talk, she cannot swallow. She will soon begin therapy to learn how to talk again...or talk as best she will be able to. She is 36. She was anorexic to begin with, and has lost a total of 54 lbs. Every day, she is fighting for her life. She has gone through pure HELL, but has yet to give up.

I have to say, when people consider suicide it makes me sick to my stomach. I have seen other relatives fight through cancer and eventually lose their battle. They fought though. They never gave up. And for people to contemplate just throwing their lives away? It makes me angry. I know of someone who committed suicide. I feel empathy for the pain she must have been going through, BUT, when I see people I love fighting through HELL just to live another hour? It really, really pisses me off when someone considers just tossing their life away.

No man...or two women are worth it. Put things into perspective. PLEASE.

Oh, yes...ayn rand. One can only be charitable if one has created wealth to do so, this is why I don't understand those who bitch about people who hv money. How you get the money is another matter though...

Hi, I am very sorry about your cousin. That is just horrible, but she seems determined to make it and that is a big part of her road to wellness.

Please realize what I wrote has nothing to do with any of these individuals. It is about trying to discern what G-d wants me to do. If G-d does not want me to do it and I know that, then I wldnt. I seek to do His will for my life. I am just feeling He wants me gone, but I could be wrong and if so, I am sure He will make that known to me. Perhaps my posting and reading replies from people, including you, is part of me discerning what He wants me to do.

I am not about to make any kind of rash decision, but the original point to my OP...being angry at evil preying upon the innocent and good among us, still stands....that is an issue for me. I survived a car accident in 2012...maybe I wasn't meant to do so. I feel I keep getting signs this world is not real and I need to leave it. Sounds weird I know, which is why I know I need the lyme infection cleared up to ensure that is not impacting my thinking in any way. Also, I think G-d has pointed out the illusory nature of this world to me...that parts ofbphysical reality are in a way a lie.

I just asked G-d to communicate with me more. I have often stated that I am apparently obtuse when it comes to understanding His will for me and understanding what He wants and asked Him to be more obvious when communicating with me. I feel in a personal relationship with G-d the communication is not one way. So, I only seek to do His will. If His will is for me to stay, then I stay. Absolutely.

btw - one of the things I pray for is that no good people get struck with cancer or other illness. Good people shouldn't be having these terrible things happen to them. I said the same thing to my former bf when he asked "Why me? Why do I have this illness?"

I will say a prayer for your cousin.