Some funny quotes:

Max Belfort: What kind of hooker takes credit cards?
Donnie Azoff: A rich one.

Donnie Azoff: I'll tell you what: I'm never eating at Benihana again. I don't care whose birthday it is.

Jordan Belfort: People say shit... I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit.
Donnie Azoff: Yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever, but it's not like what you think.
Jordan Belfort: Is she like, a first cousin?
Donnie Azoff: Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. I'm not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect.

Donnie Azoff: I check my messages every day when I come home from work... my answering machine... zero! I got a blinkling light because I don't have shit from you. I got my wife... I got my wife checking the messages every forty-five minutes calling the office saying. "Has Brad apologized yet? Is there an apology message on the machine?" I don't have jack-shit. You know what? That's not how you treat people.
Brad: You gotta be a fucking pal... You know what, I'm gonna give you a fucking pass, just give me the case.
Donnie Azoff: You're gonna give me a pass?
Brad: Look, it's a figure of fucking speech, just give me the fucking...
Donnie Azoff: Oh my God, the emperor of Fucksville came down from Fucksville to give me a pass! Hey, what are the citizens of Fucksville doing today when their emperor's gone? Is it, is it mayhem? Are people lauding and raping? What are all the little fuckheads doing while you're here?