It is a fucking horrid cross to bare, nothing else compares, my heart breaks for you as it floods me with the memory of the loss of my oldest son.

Losing a child thrust me into multiple years of shock, self destruction., seething anger, self hatred, angry at God, divorce, angry at the Church, pissed of motherfucker who was unaware of his own behavior until I went into therapy.

Therepy barely scratched the dysfunction only giving me a toe hold of reality. I slowly crawled out of the pain.


The pain is still inside, in the background, sort of a spiritual limp kin to Jacobs injury when he wrestled with the angel of the Lord, causing people to step away from me when they see the ugly scar deep in my soul.


The memory of the death of so many other loved ones does not equate with the loss of a child in any form.

I have lost many loved ones, friends over this lifetime, although painful, it is a second cousin of the trauma caused by the loss of your child.

I grieve with you comrad.