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12/19/2014

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65588147
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12/25/2014 12:25 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
Wow my heart goes out to you during this trying time. I hope you are doing well today and every day as you find the strength to overcome this sudden loss. Healing hugs and hearts...~Spazz (a mom)
Rick
User ID: 4303929
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12/25/2014 12:32 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
This is a very good time to talk to God.
Eleven-15  (OP)

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12/25/2014 01:11 PM

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Re: 12/19/2014
Instead of quoting each comment. I am trying to reach everyone to give my thanks and appreciation via green karma or private message.

But I wanted to tell all the AC's thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your comments, prayers, stories and advice were so well received and helpful in a helpless situation.

This forum and community is made up of the most wonderful and caring group of people from all over the globe.

I realized last night I am not the same person and never will be again. Instead of feeling cheated, I thank God and the universe for the time I did have with her.

Hold and tell them you love them while you have them.

ty1115
Remoh

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12/25/2014 01:25 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
Thinking of you today. sunxmas
Formerly faint
Runningwithscissors

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12/25/2014 01:42 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
Eleven-15, you are one of my favourite people on this site because you're so friendly and steady. I can't private message you, but just know that I wish you could only feel a warm hug from me on this day.

Love to you.
Runningwithscissors <3
Eleven-15  (OP)

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12/25/2014 02:26 PM

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Re: 12/19/2014
Eleven-15, you are one of my favourite people on this site because you're so friendly and steady. I can't private message you, but just know that I wish you could only feel a warm hug from me on this day.

Love to you.
 Quoting: Runningwithscissors

Awww, thank you runwithscissors! I feel it your hug and I hug you back. Thank you!
Eleven-15  (OP)

User ID: 945818
United States
12/25/2014 02:27 PM

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Re: 12/19/2014
Thinking of you today. sunxmas
 Quoting: Remoh

xoxo thank you.
CowgirlK

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12/25/2014 02:34 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
When I read what happened I freaked out. My father died the same way 16 years ago. Asthma attack that lead to a heart attack.

Please know that I am keeping you in my prayers.

May God hold you close and mend your broken heart. May he grant you the strength to continue on. May he comfort you, wipe your tears and carry you until you can once again walk on your own. God Bless You!

hf
beeches

User ID: 28167778
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12/25/2014 02:36 PM

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Re: 12/19/2014
This is a very good time to talk to God.
 Quoting: Rick 4303929


for all of us.
we only have each other. And that makes us rich.. . .

Wisdom in the man, patience in the wife, brings peace to the house and a happy life.
Xenaphobic

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12/25/2014 09:21 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
Thinking of you today. sunxmas
 Quoting: Remoh

xoxo thank you.
 Quoting: Eleven-15


I participate in a healing meditation on Saturday's, you will be in my thoughts. I have lost my husband and my son's best friend, who was like my son. I can tell you, you will feel her around. We in 3D have a hard time feeling those on the 'other side' but they really are there, and you will be with her again, promise. She has not left you. Blessings
X.
Venus of Willendorf. SI covergirl 25,000 B.C.
tiger1

User ID: 63219621
United States
12/26/2014 01:13 AM

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Re: 12/19/2014
Thinking of you, OP. Hugs. hugs
Praise God from Whom all Blessings flow !!!
Eleven-15  (OP)

User ID: 945818
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12/26/2014 01:46 AM

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Re: 12/19/2014
Thinking of you today. sunxmas
 Quoting: Remoh

xoxo thank you.
 Quoting: Eleven-15


I participate in a healing meditation on Saturday's, you will be in my thoughts. I have lost my husband and my son's best friend, who was like my son. I can tell you, you will feel her around. We in 3D have a hard time feeling those on the 'other side' but they really are there, and you will be with her again, promise. She has not left you. Blessings
X.
 Quoting: Xenaphobic

Thank you X. I'm looking everywhere for her. I picture my grandma showing her all around heaven. Knowing my nipper she already has 3-4 dogs following her around.

Thinking of you, OP. Hugs. hugs
 Quoting: tiger1

Thank you tiger xoxo
OneNewsJunky

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12/26/2014 06:08 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and prayers.
OneNewsJunky
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/29/2014 01:30 AM
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Re: 12/19/2014
Instead of quoting each comment. I am trying to reach everyone to give my thanks and appreciation via green karma or private message.

But I wanted to tell all the AC's thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your comments, prayers, stories and advice were so well received and helpful in a helpless situation.

This forum and community is made up of the most wonderful and caring group of people from all over the globe.

I realized last night I am not the same person and never will be again. Instead of feeling cheated, I thank God and the universe for the time I did have with her.

Hold and tell them you love them while you have them.

:ty1115:
 Quoting: Eleven-15


You will be with her again.

So sorry for all that you must be feeling and going through. You are in my prayers and in my heart. Such a wonderful person. God bless you.
beeches

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United States
12/29/2014 09:51 AM

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Re: 12/19/2014
we love you.
we only have each other. And that makes us rich.. . .

Wisdom in the man, patience in the wife, brings peace to the house and a happy life.
tiger1

User ID: 63219621
United States
12/29/2014 02:23 PM

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Re: 12/19/2014
we love you.
 Quoting: beeches


DITTO ! hf
Praise God from Whom all Blessings flow !!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46317298
United States
12/29/2014 03:22 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
Eleven, I just saw your post today. In 1991 my sweet son died when he was 16. Eleven years later my daughter and only other child died at the age of 21. I am not a joiner so am not a member and can't PM you, so I apologize to everyone else for this long message.

The first weeks after my daughter died I hardly remember anything. I really wanted to die. No one tells you how exquisitely, physically painful grief can be. I wanted out of my body BAD. But one day, sitting on the porch on a perfect winter day, I had this intense and wonderful moment that must be called grace. This moment relayed to me a message that saved me. There would never be anything again in this life that I would fear. Twelve years later, that is still true. The worst thing happened and I don't have any idea why, but I do know I can live now without any fear at all. Nothing can ever hurt you like this again.

I made a choice then, that I would live. My mother and sister were still alive and they needed me to stay on the planet and so I did. I find value in life now by trying to help others in any way I can. I figure it can't hurt and if there's meaning in our existence...then sometimes it's probably a good thing. I am not religious, but I do have a sense of spiritual connection, which is ever changing and I work on keeping it. That helps.

I have many friends, but this awful experience and your awareness of it isolates you always from others. Loss and grief feelings bring you great empathy for others, but also is something you can't fully share in words. I guess it's like PTSD from war, you can talk to others who went through it, but it's always going to be intensely private and something alone unto you. The experience is something you will always carry. It changes your perspective in every way. Sometimes that's the best thing ever, and sometimes, not so much.

Finally, I promise you, when you can let it, the deep pain you feel now does go away. Letting go doesn't mean you've forgotten. Healing doesn't mean you leave her behind. You can learn to form a spiritual tie with your daughter that always abides and eternally brings you comfort.
If you ever want to talk, post that request here, I will find a way to get my contact info to you. All my love to you today and always. Carol.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 61738439
United States
12/29/2014 03:50 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
Eleven, I just saw your post today. In 1991 my sweet son died when he was 16. Eleven years later my daughter and only other child died at the age of 21. I am not a joiner so am not a member and can't PM you, so I apologize to everyone else for this long message.

The first weeks after my daughter died I hardly remember anything. I really wanted to die. No one tells you how exquisitely, physically painful grief can be. I wanted out of my body BAD. But one day, sitting on the porch on a perfect winter day, I had this intense and wonderful moment that must be called grace. This moment relayed to me a message that saved me. There would never be anything again in this life that I would fear. Twelve years later, that is still true. The worst thing happened and I don't have any idea why, but I do know I can live now without any fear at all. Nothing can ever hurt you like this again.

I made a choice then, that I would live. My mother and sister were still alive and they needed me to stay on the planet and so I did. I find value in life now by trying to help others in any way I can. I figure it can't hurt and if there's meaning in our existence...then sometimes it's probably a good thing. I am not religious, but I do have a sense of spiritual connection, which is ever changing and I work on keeping it. That helps.

I have many friends, but this awful experience and your awareness of it isolates you always from others. Loss and grief feelings bring you great empathy for others, but also is something you can't fully share in words. I guess it's like PTSD from war, you can talk to others who went through it, but it's always going to be intensely private and something alone unto you. The experience is something you will always carry. It changes your perspective in every way. Sometimes that's the best thing ever, and sometimes, not so much.

Finally, I promise you, when you can let it, the deep pain you feel now does go away. Letting go doesn't mean you've forgotten. Healing doesn't mean you leave her behind. You can learn to form a spiritual tie with your daughter that always abides and eternally brings you comfort.
If you ever want to talk, post that request here, I will find a way to get my contact info to you. All my love to you today and always. Carol.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46317298


red_heart For you Carol...God bless
Spiritual Mother

User ID: 59960424
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12/29/2014 04:12 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

... When all my time is over
Each and every hour now done
I will still be a part of my daughter
And I thank her for calling me 'Mom...'

She is nearer than ever before. Bless you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65257151
United States
12/29/2014 04:19 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
My thoughts and prayers are with you. You are stronger than you know. You can and will make it through this heart breaking experience. She is in God's hands now, and he will take good care of her.
Eleven-15  (OP)

User ID: 66523998
United States
12/30/2014 12:35 PM

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Re: 12/19/2014
Eleven, I just saw your post today. In 1991 my sweet son died when he was 16. Eleven years later my daughter and only other child died at the age of 21. I am not a joiner so am not a member and can't PM you, so I apologize to everyone else for this long message.

The first weeks after my daughter died I hardly remember anything. I really wanted to die. No one tells you how exquisitely, physically painful grief can be. I wanted out of my body BAD. But one day, sitting on the porch on a perfect winter day, I had this intense and wonderful moment that must be called grace. This moment relayed to me a message that saved me. There would never be anything again in this life that I would fear. Twelve years later, that is still true. The worst thing happened and I don't have any idea why, but I do know I can live now without any fear at all. Nothing can ever hurt you like this again.

I made a choice then, that I would live. My mother and sister were still alive and they needed me to stay on the planet and so I did. I find value in life now by trying to help others in any way I can. I figure it can't hurt and if there's meaning in our existence...then sometimes it's probably a good thing. I am not religious, but I do have a sense of spiritual connection, which is ever changing and I work on keeping it. That helps.

I have many friends, but this awful experience and your awareness of it isolates you always from others. Loss and grief feelings bring you great empathy for others, but also is something you can't fully share in words. I guess it's like PTSD from war, you can talk to others who went through it, but it's always going to be intensely private and something alone unto you. The experience is something you will always carry. It changes your perspective in every way. Sometimes that's the best thing ever, and sometimes, not so much.

Finally, I promise you, when you can let it, the deep pain you feel now does go away. Letting go doesn't mean you've forgotten. Healing doesn't mean you leave her behind. You can learn to form a spiritual tie with your daughter that always abides and eternally brings you comfort.
If you ever want to talk, post that request here, I will find a way to get my contact info to you. All my love to you today and always. Carol.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46317298

Thank you Carol. The highlighted part up there, I had that very same thought the other day. There is nothing to fear.
She's safe now. The one unspoken, the one thought that might enter our head for a quick second and we quickly bury it deep, fearing the unthinkable. IT HAPPENED.

I sit by the fire outside most nights and talk to her. I tell her I wish she could have stayed longer but I understand. We are separated for now but she's not gone.
The pain is immeasurable, no words to describe this kind of pain. But, I get it. Meaning, why she's not here. I don't like it but in the grand scheme of things it's not up to me.

I can see where people get stuck on that one movie in their head. The very end, the details of death. Things your mind cannot un see. My hair stands up on the back of my neck to think of another parent who had to go through a horrible death at the hands of another or such.

I'll stop here. I'm rambling.

Thank you, Carol and all my love to you.
Thank you everyone.
Eleven-15  (OP)

User ID: 66523998
United States
12/30/2014 12:39 PM

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Re: 12/19/2014
Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

... When all my time is over
Each and every hour now done
I will still be a part of my daughter
And I thank her for calling me 'Mom...'

She is nearer than ever before. Bless you.
 Quoting: Spiritual Mother

So beautiful, thank you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1550123
United States
12/30/2014 01:11 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
Instead of quoting each comment. I am trying to reach everyone to give my thanks and appreciation via green karma or private message.

But I wanted to tell all the AC's thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your comments, prayers, stories and advice were so well received and helpful in a helpless situation.

This forum and community is made up of the most wonderful and caring group of people from all over the globe.

I realized last night I am not the same person and never will be again. Instead of feeling cheated, I thank God and the universe for the time I did have with her.

Hold and tell them you love them while you have them.

:ty1115:
 Quoting: Eleven-15


I know she made you a better person. I have to believe that we will all see our dead loved ones again one day. Keep that in mind and know she would want you to go on with a smile on your face until you see her again. Help others with what you have learned and make your small corner of the world a better place. We all suffer and it is good to know we are not alone and can help one another with our experiences. Blessings to you and everyone who are going through and will be going through difficult times. May we all come through it as better people.hf
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
12/30/2014 01:27 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
She was only 28. I have never experienced death before. I had imagined one of my parents not my child.

I thought I was strong but I am not.
 Quoting: Eleven-15


So why are you on here? Seriously. Go surround yourself with friends and family and grieve.

We will be here when you get back.
 Quoting: Bear Drinker


hesright
Tell Me Lies

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12/30/2014 03:36 PM
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grouphug
MySaul

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12/30/2014 03:59 PM

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Re: 12/19/2014
I've been avoiding this thread because I know there are no words to help with this. I don't think I would be able to move if that happened to me. To you and others who have lost children, God bless.verysad
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 66218081


Me, too, not knowing what to say.
What choice do I have but to be myself? Everyone else was already taken.

Develop a nostalgia for the future - Maxwell Maltz

MySoul
Anonymous Coward
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12/30/2014 04:31 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
I'm late to this thread, but very sorry for your loss. I don't have any great words of comfort other than to say that I am praying for your comfort and peace.
Anonymous Coward
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12/30/2014 09:55 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
Eleven, thinking of you and sending love and a minute of peace. I remember I got some relief from screaming in the woods where no one could hear me. Sounds dramatic, but I know tears release the bad neurotransmitters that painful emotions create.

I also remember, even though my faith in the eternal is strong, wondering WHERE the heck in the universe my child could be. How can they be here one minute and then are just not. As the mule guide said in Dances with Wolves when he came upon a long dead settler, "Someone back home is wonderin' ...Why don't she WRITE?"

I promise you will get a sign. It may take time, as it seems time on the other side of the veil is not on our clock at all. I'm glad you are talking to her. I know your heart is longing for connection.

The horrible memory and trauma of her death will fade quickly, don't try to avoid it. Just know it will pass.

Grieving is unbelievably exhausting, so just do only what you want to do, and do nothing you don't.

Also, I don't know how you feel about medication, but Xanax kept me sane.

Lovingly, Carol.
Anonymous Coward
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12/30/2014 11:25 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
so very sorry for your loss.
CRZY4CKR

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12/30/2014 11:36 PM
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Re: 12/19/2014
So sorry for your loss. Like many others, I do not know what to say.





GLP