My neighbor lady thieves my plants. What to do?

Set up a video camera...or a device.

Entice her with a new plant...pretend to go out, or have a friend "plant sit"

Gotcha!

Then post it on youtube!

Okay, your neighbor is a straight up thief.

Why forgive her ?

I dont get it.

Sounds like she needs to spend a night or two in Jail and why haven't the neighbors that had silver stolen gone to the police ?

I really liked the motion activated sprinkler too, and also the security cams. I have been thinking about this one anyway, and is a fantastic idea.

I did not know about the plant markers. That is also a fantastic suggestion, and I really did not know about those at all. Once I take care of this situation at hand then I can proceed with any new plants to deter any further problems. I also think I will use some sort of plant friendly paint to mark the plant right under the soil.

You are correct, it is not good to have a neighbor as an enemy, and I do not want this at all. That neighbor as the enemy just feels wrong in all sorts of ways, and should not be an option IF there is a way to solve such a thing. She has indeed stolen from some other neighbors too, and perhaps I will speak with them; I am sure they are also disappointed because they trusted her to do upkeep on their pool while they were away. It is indeed sad when it comes to the point of not trusting your neighbors and friends. Truthfully this entire situation just a reflection on what is going on in the entire world, and things did not used to be like this at all. I am sure you know what I mean.

Thanks!!

I do not know why the other neighbors have not contacted the police.



Probably like me, they want a better solution (that would be my guess).......

The garden hose solution is a great idea.

I read the first page and skipped the other replies. Best thing to do is buy a cheap "No Trespassing" sign, then video any activity you see. This'll give you grounds to prosecute if you feel the need. Without the sign, you have no case.

Good luck!

Buy the nicest and most enticing plant you can find, plant it where she will see it and make a little garden sign that says "This garden is under video surveillance. Plant thieves will be prosecuted."

Strike up a conversation with her, casual and tell her that you are at the end of your rope with your plants going missing, and you are going to catch them and make them pay. Don't let on that you know it's her, even offer to help her secure her own plants from the neighborhood thief or suggest that you saw an old man in your yard and suspect it's him.

If she still steals, then call the police. I have a feeling it won't be necessary.

I really like this idea for if (when) this happens again! To have the sprinklers and the camera. She does not have a computer and is social media illiterate. However, I would absolutely tell her that she is on candid camera, and that I will post it for all to see.

You cant negotiate with a criminal.

As long as she feels she wont get in trouble she will continue to do whatever she wants and by letting her continue, you and your other neighbors have become enablers.

Yes, I will get a sign too!

"Smile, you are on candid camera".......

Theft is theft. Plants are expensive! Yes, the police will act, call them; I used to work for the police, and they take theft of plants, garden items etc, just as seriously as any other. Do you have proof? No. But the police ringing her doorbell and questioning her will frighten her enough that she won't dare do it again in case you have cameras set up, lol!
(And if you do want proof, maybe you could set something up. Buy a tempting item, plant it, put dye on it? Have someone with a camera watch your yard while you're out?)
But I seriously would tell the police. This kind of thieving is nasty. Yes, you don't want to make a scene, but think about it, OP. Do you really care what someone that low thinks of you? The people living nearby will thank you, too, for acting to finally put a stop to it!

Like I said above, no matter how you go about this, be prepared for one f-ed up response.

It sounds like you and your neighbors are a fairly passive bunch. That's not a bad thing, but manipulators will take advantage of this. Especially if she has "gotten away" with stealing in the past. She has been enabled, and this will turn into her feeling she has the "right" to share or take your things in the future.

This type of manipulator will turn on you like a rabid pit-bull when confronted. The personality change will be shocking and she will blame you for anything and everything. The manipulator's point is to make you back down and for you to feel bad for even suggesting that they are misbehaving. Be prepared.

First off, learn some grammar, then take pics, then call the cops.

Shouldn't the title read, "my neighbor lady steals my plants, what to do?

Awwwww

Don't be a grammar do~gooder moran

Any future plants WILL have some sort of dye or marking paint on the root or underground stem. I also liked the idea of the plant/bush markers too.

Walk into her year WITH a shovel and start looking at her plants, do that till she comes outside, GLARE at her then walk over and dig one of your plants up.

If she (it?) speaks, tell her to go back in her house and get out of your yard with a "mother to child look" on your face ("matter of fact" look)

If SHE threatens you, say "ok, I HAVE THE RECEIPTS to prove it, let's do it, you need to stop coming into my yard and taking MY things - clear? for that matter get out of everyone's yards you thief"

she will get it....

So it is time to just face the fact that she is a THIEF, plain and simple. That is what she is, what she does, and how she goes through life as a pattern of behavior.

If the silver theft victim had made a police report and dealt firmly with the theft... then the thief's behavior might have ceased. Or she would have moved away. Or gone to jail. At any rate, she probably would not be boldly stealing in broad daylight from you -- and probably from others -- today.

But the silver theft victim took the "easy" way out. Did nothing. In my book, that is the coward's way out. It rewarded and emboldened the thief. Everything, everywhere is hers for the taking. Just go grab it or dig it up. Nobody has the backbone to stand up to her behavior, so she escalates.

Allowing a thief to continue stealing is enabling and abetting her behavior! By doing nothing you are rewarding her for theft!



Never did I advocate anything at all "hasty" or without "tact".

Quite the contrary. Making a police report is completely orderly, step by step, thoughtful action. It is formal action. Nothing hasty or tactless about it. Contacting your homeowners insurance agent for advice is not hasty or without tact. It is pulling in knowledge and experience from an ally.

"Waiting" for the thief to contact you rather than you confronting her is the antithesis of "haste". It is totally diplomatic.

What if, by some miracle, the thief had a thunderstruck change of heart and repented of theft? If you never heard from her again, then the thefts would simply be "over and done with", and no word about it would have to pass between you.

But by you waiting for her to contact you again, you are allowing her to either treat you with decency and apologize, or for her to treat you as prey and lie to your face again.

Prepare your words carefully. No angry words, nothing you would regret. "Diplomacy" does NOT mean making yourself a doormat. Diplomacy in this case means making your words informational. You will inform her that you have made a police report. You will inform her that you are monitoring activities of anyone on your property, or anyone contacting you. And you are informing her that she is not to contact you or set foot on your property for any reason whatsoever.

That is information, not anger. That IS diplomacy.

Forgiveness?

That is between you and our Creator.

Actually the thief is not entitled to know whether you forgive her actions or not. She has not earned that privilege. And probably never will. Why should she change? Theft is working wonderfully well for her!

You can forgive her actions and let them go.

But you will only have the peace of mind to let them go after you have plainly stated your stand, and your intended course of action, and done your homework to document this.

You can then have the peace of mind that you are equally prepared for her to do any damned thing under the sun, whether it is

A) Repent and apologize on her own,

B) Move away or disappear, or just leave you alone, or

C) Harass and steal from you.

You simply state your plans. Do it with thoughtful preparation. Practice in front of a mirror. Get to where you can speak from the gut, the heart, and the intellect all at the same time. Make it real, make it unemotional, make it factual, and make it -- above all -- informational.

Be ready for whatever course she chooses to take.

And yes, she will break into your house. Unless you lay down the law from a position of calm and strength.

perfect glpee answer...

Goodmockingbird,
What a great post! Very well said, and we can all learn from that. I too, like the OP, have sometimes found myself in situations where I flinched from acting decisively. I would describe my behaviour, with hindsight, as 'Weakness disguised as leniency.'

a few times would warrant a "better" solution...but you're sayin this is an ongoing problems as well as with other neighbors. the time for kid gloves is over and whatever she gets is her problem now. maybe it will end in a blazin gun battle and you can be on the news AND be a frontline glpee reporter.

Simpsons did it...

learn som grammam

douche

Now here's what you do ....... Keeep a good eye on this mind you , get holda some Japanese Knotweed plant it , let her take it ............Guaranteed you will have no more problems ,she will be so tied up with trying to stop this stuff spreading she wont have time to steal anyone elses....................

But you've got it. Right now. No matter what you do or don't do. You have an enemy next door.





The way to solve it is to quit being a victim!

You didn't cause this. And you damned sure can't reform a thief by allowing her to steal from you.

She is an enemy. A predator. To her, you are nothing but prey. She's gotten away with stealing from you in broad daylight. She "knows" you won't do anything to stop her from coming into your home to steal.



Disappointed??? How about mad as hell, and not gonna take it any more???



Sad yes, but thus has it ever been. This is no new thing. People used to just take them out and string them up in a tree.

And you can indeed trust your friends!

But newsflash: That predator was never your friend. Get that through your head.



Back in the day, people just strung them up at high noon for all the world to see.

What's "new" is thieves getting away with it over and over and decent people too afraid to even make a police report.

Grow a spine. Live up to forthright, self-respecting, lawful refusal to be a vicim!

I fear this last post is correct.
but still, something must be done.


maybe she has all the TP, too, there was none at Walmart.

Set up a camera and catch her in the act. Dont throw dog crap in her yard to get back at her, like I did! Believe me it retaliation can get dirty!!!

OP--This is what you can expect from her.



Last Edited by Citadel Moon on 11/16/2014 02:51 PM

Why do we call these THIEVES "Lady next door" or "Rhrubarb lady"???

They are not "ladies" in the least!

Words have meaning.

They are Female Criminals, or Belligerent Women.

Everyone who squats to pee is NOT a lady. It's about behavior!

Last Edited by goodmockingbird on 11/16/2014 03:59 PM

At the very least, they'd shoot her dog

Reward her with some new plantings....
Ivy, sumac and oak, as in POISON.