Hi, OP.

I sincerely enjoyed reading your tale, and I think you have a very real talent/gift as a writer. I gave your story five stars just because it was so well-written.

Just a suggestion, though: You might want to look up how "lie" (to recline) and "lay" (to set) are used, and their tenses. Lay is the past tense of lie (to recline), and laid is the past tense of lay (to set). I am NOT trying to be any kind of "grammar policeman" here -- I am certainly not perfect in that regard!! -- but, as I said, I truly think you have what it takes to be a paid writer!