Arrested for Using a Flamethrower Instead of a Snow Shovel

He must be related to the guy that loosen his car lug nuts with a shotgun...

Lol, never heard that story! Getting shit DONE!

This guy should move to my area, he'd fit right in.

No Shame With The Flame!

Kudos for owning something that will counter the MRAP, more people need them.

How dare he create more global warming!!!

Police say that Fox surrendered his efforts immediately upon their arrival and that his front yard “looked like a hydrogen bomb had gone off.” They think he was just happy to be done with snow removal, even if it did mean a trip to jail. - See more at: [link to neighborshame.com]

I bet he was a GLP member

Even though its satire, it's funny as hell!

Here's the source: [link to fmobserver.com]

(It's like the onion website).

Here ya go.....

[link to www.komonews.com]

I should break out my flame thrower. Use it for smoothing out ice on pond after a storm... So if I use this when it snows in a couple days, will I be arrested.

Roger that.

One commenter said he's from Fargo and he knows a person who's friends with the guy.. Doesn't mean it's real, but it might be.

All the while reading it I knew it was genius.

When I saw the picture, then read that "his front yard looked like a hydrogen bomb had gone off”, it made me smile just a bit. I wished it was true.

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Thing is, I've spent enough hours shoveling snow in my life that I've often mused about plausible alternate methods for snow removal...or, its total annihilation.

One three foot snowfall will ultimately wall in the parts of my car that the plow missed while compressing our block's worth of snow next to it. With wide sidewalks and shallow front yardage, there really is nowhere to put the snow...unless you want to walk across the road and try to position each shovel-full 'just so' against the vacant hillside.

There have been times my shoveling motions have become so mechanical I must look something like a machine, rhythmically catapulting masses of snow directly across the roadway with a precision that would have made my physics professor proud. The force, and its subsequent achieved velocity, pretty much warrants that the deposited snow will never affect an avalanche...which would -should my assessment have failed- not really cause anything more than the loss of a couple of parking spots on my block, anyway.

Of course, you pretty much need a good deal of wet snow for this maneuver, as it will not work on the dry fluffy stuff.

If you wish to try this, but have asthma as I do, make certain you use your inhaler properly well before venturing out, and be prepared to not use your arms for a few days for any more heavy lifting...although a nice hot bath with epsom salts will help you back on your, ahem, feet (so-to-speak) in no time.

All the while the mind continues to wander: how does one eliminate this mess in an effective, thorough fashion?????

I once envisioned having a heatable dumpster, then realized that besides being an extreme eyesore against the sheer beauty of fresh fallen snow, it would need to be properly drained into the sewer system, lest it then create an ice problem for everyone downhill of me. Bad idea.

The same goes for heated sidewalks, which would also lead to ice, besides not solving the problem of a snowplowed snowed-in car. Why bother?

Sooooooo, short of constructing a laser device -which I have previously thought of developing for easier tree pruning and removal services- the ONLY viable method would, in fact, be a flame thrower...or, for the urban dweller, something more in line with a simple plumbing torch, as seen here: [link to images.drillspot.com]

The only problem I see besides the exact physical maneuvering such a method would involve -such as lying prone on the ground to burn horizontal 'layers' from top to bottom- once again goes back to all the water it would create that did not immediately turn into a steam or gas to simply float away.

Anyhoo, knowing that my battle with where to put all that snow is not about to disappear by simply willing it away (oh...hmm), I now have a silly hat to wear while shoveling.

It makes the task a bit of fun, which helps me merrily muse away on other pressing problems, such as how to stop my neighbor's english ivy from strangling everything in my garden. Although slash and burn is a joy to envision, it is really only one of those pipe-dreams that keep me smiling in silence. Shh.


thanks, op! Fun thread!



Last Edited by esotericMorgan on 01/29/2014 04:08 PM

From MIT newsletter:

1948 Mayor to MIT: Use Flamethrowers to Melt Snow?
by AMY MARCOTT on FEBRUARY 2, 2011

in CAMPUS CULTURE, REMEMBER WHEN...

Sixty three years ago Boston received so much snow that then Mayor James Curley took a look at it and began pleading with then MIT President Dr. Karl Compton for help. “I am very desirous that [MIT] have a competent group of engineers make an immediate study as to ways and means of removing the huge accumulation,” he wrote, “…be it by the use of flame throwers or chemicals or otherwise.” The mayor was desperate...

read more at: [link to alum.mit.edu]



Another humorous story:

"Flamethrower Sales Skyrocket As Ingenious Mainers Discover New Form Of Snow Removal"
Posted on February 8, 2013


[link to moviewriternyu.wordpress.com]

Why use a flamethrower on snow that won't melt?

He melted so much he passed out from the offgassig

Haha I came here to ask that same question.

I have often used a propane blowtorch to melt the ice after I plow.

I hope I wasn't breaking any laws.

Well I really don't care, come to think of it.

It can be difficult to shovel if there's a layer of ice under the snow. That's when I bust out the ol' sledgehammer and smash it up. Fuck I love being Canadian.

the shotgun lug nut story is real, maybe that is a good way to remove snow too

Oh! I see how it is!

The US Army can use flame thowers to clear DC for JFK's inauguration, But home owners cant!

LOOL

Pinned and the story is a year old?

Its similar to my remedy for mowing during the summer. I spray my yard with weed/grass killer. Grass dies. Mower stays in shed. Mission accomplished.

I'll mow it once or twice when it starts growing at the beginning of spring to allow a good root structure to take hold. Then let it grow and get a little shaggy before spraying the killer. Doing this keeps the grass there and keeps my yard from becoming bare and just a dirt pad. Ya it looks brownish yellow and ugly and ya its worse cause its in a nice neighborhood of snotty upperclass idiots they spend hundreds to have someone make their yard look like a golf course but I dont give flying birds ass. They always complain about it which makes it entertaining.

Ohhh ya. And then I take the time I would of used for mowing and do some volunteering to help others, a couple of hours a week, and I use the money I saved from not trying to turn my yard into a golf course, and give it to local churches who are helping middle class families who ran into hardships when the financial crisis hit.

I dont mind the labor of mowing. If my yard grew somthing useful like food or cotton then I would tend to my field. But constantly mowing grass for the purpose of appearance has always seemed pointless to me unless maybe you have kids who actually still go out and play in the yard but i dont know if those exist anymore.

Great post

You are a hero

the heat goes up and the snow is down. I tried using a "Dragon's Breath" propane torch. works much better if you use the flame to heat metal and press that against the snow.

As a result of this news Obama should write an executive order immediately banning assault flamethrowers.

lol

Read some of the threads about fake snow and people trying to set it on fire.Probably a GLP er

There's no national law against flamethrowers. Patriots need to learn how to make their own for use against Z.O.G. (perhaps the only way to destroy a tank in combat without placing thermite if you don't have access to mines or AT launchers; even the M1A2's fire suppression system will only last for ~7sec.)

I am getting sick of hearing about people for getting arrested for everything under the sun. If he wanted to do that it should be his business. Screw the cops!

Hardly a hero but thanks for the reply.