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shes gone.

 
( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage
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User ID: 46856858
United States
12/08/2013 11:54 AM
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shes gone.
Dont move in with them has to be the only Rule a man should follow in his life.


Do not move in with a woman, you will regret it for every living second.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51047361


True fuckin story

Friday afternoon I kicked my GF out of the house. I dropped her and her dog at her moms house

2am I get a call, I have a ride to come get my stuff. Im like fu, its 2am, she starts whining its the only ride she can get...

3am, she shows up... I got all her shit piled on the porch (black trash bags.... the luggage of strippers) for her to pick up.

She comes up the walk... as she gets to the door.... her "ride" speeds away. Wtf?!

3am, 19 degrees, shes standing on porch, I let her in obv. Then she procedes to tell me shes moving into the spare room.

She has no job. No car. Prolly the $100 I gave her when I dropped her off...

This morning I hear her making coffee and breakfast. Eating my food...?

I asked how long she plans on camping in my house....

"Until I save enough to move"

WHAT???

TIPS? Advice?

Last Edited by ( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage on 12/10/2013 09:03 PM
Please send my shill checks to:
2600 Scenic dr
Austin TX 78703

If I have a bill for $4.27 and give the cashier $5.02, the stunned look on their faces as they give me back $.75 (three quarters) is akin to a magic trick. How did you do that? 

You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.

"- i liked the song before boobs were added. but now. well, boobs. they make everything better dont they? " ~ Green Girl

Credit to all uploaders whose content I steal

?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14776990
United States
12/08/2013 11:56 AM
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Re: shes gone.
You love her still..... Other wise she wouldn't be there.
eekers
Dreamer of Dreams

User ID: 38137469
United States
12/08/2013 11:56 AM

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Re: shes gone.
awwhellznaw

it would be a major cockblock if you meet a new girl.

send her on her merry way. if you guys are through, stand your ground (not in the shooting her head off sense LOL)

she's probably trying to get you back by trying to get you into sex again.

if you guys are friends and she's cool, then you can be more lenient.
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46611736
United States
12/08/2013 11:57 AM
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Re: shes gone.
start smoking cigars in the house. the smoke will get her to leave.
Exploited
User ID: 36141517
Canada
12/08/2013 11:59 AM
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Re: shes gone.
Alright, the police can remove her by force if you can prove she entered illegally, IE, forced her way in.

Take a hammer, smash your front doors lock. Smash the latch, make it look like someone tried to force their way in.

Call the police, say she used 'something' to force her way inside while you were out, and won't leave.

They will promptly remove her from the house.

Problem solved.
Saddletramp

User ID: 726900
Puerto Rico
12/08/2013 12:00 PM
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Re: shes gone.
Put a $100 bill on the porch, point it out to her, and when she runs out to get it lock the door behind her...

It'll be cheap in the long run...
"And how can a man die better than facing fearful odds, for the ashes of his fathers, and the temples of his Gods..." ~ Horatius

"Because he told the truth, and once you've heard the truth, everything else is just cheap whiskey..."

"We don't rent pigs!"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 42719781
United States
12/08/2013 12:01 PM
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Re: shes gone.
If she refuses to leave after you ask, you can always call the police and have them remove her from the property.
SolitaryWildFlower

User ID: 1285865
United States
12/08/2013 12:01 PM
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Re: shes gone.
If you're feeling generous: Charge her rent, half of your grocery bill and utilities...

Make her sign an agreement. Congrats, you now have a roommate.
Some advice: Stay away from women who're slugs.


Not feeling so generous?? Call the police and have her escorted off your property.

Same advice as above.


Good LUCK! hf
I see the sadness behind the smile.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 50997785
United States
12/08/2013 12:02 PM
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Re: shes gone.
Dont move in with them has to be the only Rule a man should follow in his life.


Do not move in with a woman, you will regret it for every living second.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51047361


True fuckin story

Friday afternoon I kicked my GF out of the house. I dropped her and her dog at her moms house

2am I get a call, I have a ride to come get my stuff. Im like fu, its 2am, she starts whining its the only ride she can get...

3am, she shows up... I got all her shit piled on the porch (black trash bags.... the luggage of strippers) for her to pick up.

She comes up the walk... as she gets to the door.... her "ride" speeds away. Wtf?!

3am, 19 degrees, shes standing on porch, I let her in obv. Then she procedes to tell me shes moving into the spare room.

She has no job. No car. Prolly the $100 I gave her when I dropped her off...

This morning I hear her making coffee and breakfast. Eating my food...?

I asked how long she plans on camping in my house....

"Until I save enough to move"

WHAT???

TIPS? Advice?
 Quoting: ( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage



( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage
cruise
BRIEF

User ID: 39607259
United States
12/08/2013 12:03 PM

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Re: shes gone.
Send her to the store (on foot) and change the locks scheming
I never forgive and I never forget

I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked.

Briefcut4892
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33676911
United States
12/08/2013 12:03 PM
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Re: shes gone.
Dont move in with them has to be the only Rule a man should follow in his life.


Do not move in with a woman, you will regret it for every living second.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51047361


True fuckin story

Friday afternoon I kicked my GF out of the house. I dropped her and her dog at her moms house

2am I get a call, I have a ride to come get my stuff. Im like fu, its 2am, she starts whining its the only ride she can get...

3am, she shows up... I got all her shit piled on the porch (black trash bags.... the luggage of strippers) for her to pick up.

She comes up the walk... as she gets to the door.... her "ride" speeds away. Wtf?!

3am, 19 degrees, shes standing on porch, I let her in obv. Then she procedes to tell me shes moving into the spare room.

She has no job. No car. Prolly the $100 I gave her when I dropped her off...

This morning I hear her making coffee and breakfast. Eating my food...?

I asked how long she plans on camping in my house....

"Until I save enough to move"

WHAT???

TIPS? Advice?
 Quoting: ( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage


if...she gets one piece of mail...with her name and your adress on that mail...she now has rights of tenancy..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 51184265
United States
12/08/2013 12:03 PM
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Re: shes gone.
If she really was a stripper and you let her move in, you are an idiot.

You may as well serve her with an eviction, in our state it takes 30 days. However, no matter what she says she will do, if you serve her with an eviction, she will have to move.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 215282
Australia
12/08/2013 12:04 PM
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Re: shes gone.
Why did yous break up, if you don't mind me asking?
Dr. Brian Moran

User ID: 934052
United States
12/08/2013 12:04 PM
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Re: shes gone.
BITCHPLEASE4

Rape...
That's Mr. Dr. Moran to you!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 51184265
United States
12/08/2013 12:04 PM
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Re: shes gone.
Dont move in with them has to be the only Rule a man should follow in his life.


Do not move in with a woman, you will regret it for every living second.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51047361


True fuckin story

Friday afternoon I kicked my GF out of the house. I dropped her and her dog at her moms house

2am I get a call, I have a ride to come get my stuff. Im like fu, its 2am, she starts whining its the only ride she can get...

3am, she shows up... I got all her shit piled on the porch (black trash bags.... the luggage of strippers) for her to pick up.

She comes up the walk... as she gets to the door.... her "ride" speeds away. Wtf?!

3am, 19 degrees, shes standing on porch, I let her in obv. Then she procedes to tell me shes moving into the spare room.

She has no job. No car. Prolly the $100 I gave her when I dropped her off...

This morning I hear her making coffee and breakfast. Eating my food...?

I asked how long she plans on camping in my house....

"Until I save enough to move"

WHAT???

TIPS? Advice?
 Quoting: ( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage


if...she gets one piece of mail...with her name and your adress on that mail...she now has rights of tenancy..
 Quoting: Gonviral


In Arkansas, if they have anything in your house, they live their and have to be evicted.
( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage  (OP)

User ID: 46856858
United States
12/08/2013 12:05 PM
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Re: shes gone.
awwhellznaw

it would be a major cockblock if you meet a new girl.

send her on her merry way. if you guys are through, stand your ground (not in the shooting her head off sense LOL)

she's probably trying to get you back by trying to get you into sex again.

if you guys are friends and she's cool, then you can be more lenient.
 Quoting: eekers


Nope.
Not friends.
She just walks past without saying a thing.

I just dont know HOW TO KICK HER OUT.
Please send my shill checks to:
2600 Scenic dr
Austin TX 78703

If I have a bill for $4.27 and give the cashier $5.02, the stunned look on their faces as they give me back $.75 (three quarters) is akin to a magic trick. How did you do that? 

You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.

"- i liked the song before boobs were added. but now. well, boobs. they make everything better dont they? " ~ Green Girl

Credit to all uploaders whose content I steal

?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 37697778
Switzerland
12/08/2013 12:06 PM
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Re: shes gone.
Free advice: Grow testicles
( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage  (OP)

User ID: 46856858
United States
12/08/2013 12:06 PM
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Re: shes gone.
Dont move in with them has to be the only Rule a man should follow in his life.


Do not move in with a woman, you will regret it for every living second.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51047361


True fuckin story

Friday afternoon I kicked my GF out of the house. I dropped her and her dog at her moms house

2am I get a call, I have a ride to come get my stuff. Im like fu, its 2am, she starts whining its the only ride she can get...

3am, she shows up... I got all her shit piled on the porch (black trash bags.... the luggage of strippers) for her to pick up.

She comes up the walk... as she gets to the door.... her "ride" speeds away. Wtf?!

3am, 19 degrees, shes standing on porch, I let her in obv. Then she procedes to tell me shes moving into the spare room.

She has no job. No car. Prolly the $100 I gave her when I dropped her off...

This morning I hear her making coffee and breakfast. Eating my food...?

I asked how long she plans on camping in my house....

"Until I save enough to move"

WHAT???

TIPS? Advice?
 Quoting: ( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage


if...she gets one piece of mail...with her name and your adress on that mail...she now has rights of tenancy..
 Quoting: Gonviral


In Arkansas, if they have anything in your house, they live their and have to be evicted.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51184265



More or less the same in tx

So how do I get her to move?
Please send my shill checks to:
2600 Scenic dr
Austin TX 78703

If I have a bill for $4.27 and give the cashier $5.02, the stunned look on their faces as they give me back $.75 (three quarters) is akin to a magic trick. How did you do that? 

You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.

"- i liked the song before boobs were added. but now. well, boobs. they make everything better dont they? " ~ Green Girl

Credit to all uploaders whose content I steal

?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 51184265
United States
12/08/2013 12:06 PM
Report Abusive Post
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Re: shes gone.
Dont move in with them has to be the only Rule a man should follow in his life.


Do not move in with a woman, you will regret it for every living second.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51047361


True fuckin story

Friday afternoon I kicked my GF out of the house. I dropped her and her dog at her moms house

2am I get a call, I have a ride to come get my stuff. Im like fu, its 2am, she starts whining its the only ride she can get...

3am, she shows up... I got all her shit piled on the porch (black trash bags.... the luggage of strippers) for her to pick up.

She comes up the walk... as she gets to the door.... her "ride" speeds away. Wtf?!

3am, 19 degrees, shes standing on porch, I let her in obv. Then she procedes to tell me shes moving into the spare room.

She has no job. No car. Prolly the $100 I gave her when I dropped her off...

This morning I hear her making coffee and breakfast. Eating my food...?

I asked how long she plans on camping in my house....

"Until I save enough to move"

WHAT???

TIPS? Advice?
 Quoting: ( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage


if...she gets one piece of mail...with her name and your adress on that mail...she now has rights of tenancy..
 Quoting: Gonviral


In Arkansas, if they have anything in your house, they live their and have to be evicted.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51184265


oops, meant "there".
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 50400259
United States
12/08/2013 12:06 PM
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Re: shes gone.
Lol. Make her work earn her keep


Ask her for some sack time
Apocalypse Girl

User ID: 46426818
United States
12/08/2013 12:07 PM
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Re: shes gone.
Dont move in with them has to be the only Rule a man should follow in his life.


Do not move in with a woman, you will regret it for every living second.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51047361


True fuckin story

Friday afternoon I kicked my GF out of the house. I dropped her and her dog at her moms house

2am I get a call, I have a ride to come get my stuff. Im like fu, its 2am, she starts whining its the only ride she can get...

3am, she shows up... I got all her shit piled on the porch (black trash bags.... the luggage of strippers) for her to pick up.

She comes up the walk... as she gets to the door.... her "ride" speeds away. Wtf?!

3am, 19 degrees, shes standing on porch, I let her in obv. Then she procedes to tell me shes moving into the spare room.

She has no job. No car. Prolly the $100 I gave her when I dropped her off...

This morning I hear her making coffee and breakfast. Eating my food...?

I asked how long she plans on camping in my house....

"Until I save enough to move"

WHAT???

TIPS? Advice?
 Quoting: ( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage


Sorry you have to go thru this....hope it will work itself out somehow....
Apocalypse ( "lifting of the veil" or "revelation") is a disclosure of something hidden from the majority of mankind in an era dominated by falsehood and misconception, i.e. the veil to be lifted.
* know the truth and the truth will set you free
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 51184265
United States
12/08/2013 12:08 PM
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Re: shes gone.
...


True fuckin story

Friday afternoon I kicked my GF out of the house. I dropped her and her dog at her moms house

2am I get a call, I have a ride to come get my stuff. Im like fu, its 2am, she starts whining its the only ride she can get...

3am, she shows up... I got all her shit piled on the porch (black trash bags.... the luggage of strippers) for her to pick up.

She comes up the walk... as she gets to the door.... her "ride" speeds away. Wtf?!

3am, 19 degrees, shes standing on porch, I let her in obv. Then she procedes to tell me shes moving into the spare room.

She has no job. No car. Prolly the $100 I gave her when I dropped her off...

This morning I hear her making coffee and breakfast. Eating my food...?

I asked how long she plans on camping in my house....

"Until I save enough to move"

WHAT???

TIPS? Advice?
 Quoting: ( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage


if...she gets one piece of mail...with her name and your adress on that mail...she now has rights of tenancy..
 Quoting: Gonviral


In Arkansas, if they have anything in your house, they live their and have to be evicted.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51184265



More or less the same in tx

So how do I get her to move?
 Quoting: ( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage


I've ran into this issue with a couple of people.

Serve her with an eviction notice. That way, when the 30 days are up, the cops will come and put her out for you.
Term Limits

User ID: 7384957
United States
12/08/2013 12:09 PM
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Re: shes gone.
Put a $100 bill on the porch, point it out to her, and when she runs out to get it lock the door behind her...

It'll be cheap in the long run...
 Quoting: Saddletramp


Fuck the $100, just take twenty $1 and leave a breadcrumb trail out the door to the end of the driveway. Strippers are going to be strippers, she will take the bait and THEN you can lock the door. Cheaper than the $100 route.

Or if you don't want to spend any money, just take some baking soda and put small amounts in some plastic twisted and tied, like pea sized. Same deal, drop a bread crumb trail out the door.... Again, strippers will be strippers, and that won't cost you anything.
Term Limits for EVERY elected and appointed office. An end to career politicians for real change.
BRIEF

User ID: 39607259
United States
12/08/2013 12:09 PM

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Re: shes gone.
Mandatory two blow jobs per day, one before work and one after...
I never forgive and I never forget

I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked.

Briefcut4892
eekers
Dreamer of Dreams

User ID: 38137469
United States
12/08/2013 12:09 PM

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Re: shes gone.
awwhellznaw

it would be a major cockblock if you meet a new girl.

send her on her merry way. if you guys are through, stand your ground (not in the shooting her head off sense LOL)

she's probably trying to get you back by trying to get you into sex again.

if you guys are friends and she's cool, then you can be more lenient.
 Quoting: eekers


Nope.
Not friends.
She just walks past without saying a thing.

I just dont know HOW TO KICK HER OUT.
 Quoting: ( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage


hmmmmmmmm. would she stay just to spite you? If so, you need a more discreet way. otherwise, just be up front and tell her she needs to get out of your house. take her to her mother's again with all her stuff. it's her problem now. next time she shows up, don't open the door.
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot
Theguywhofearsnomore
User ID: 51228655
United States
12/08/2013 12:09 PM
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Re: shes gone.
Grow a pair and kick her ass into the cold. Sometimes it takes tough love to change people.
Valeria

User ID: 48352539
United States
12/08/2013 12:10 PM
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Re: shes gone.
I like the cigar idea. OP, you dont owe this broad anything. Tell her to GTFO. Dont give her any more cash. Dont give her a ride. Let her stay and your going to miserable and she's going to mooch off you till she finds another innocent sucker. My son almost let his ex gf move back in and it was a good thing he told me before he did.
TRUTH its the new hate speech. "During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act." George Orwell
eekers
Dreamer of Dreams

User ID: 38137469
United States
12/08/2013 12:10 PM

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Re: shes gone.
Mandatory two blow jobs per day, one before work and one after...
 Quoting: BRIEF


with some people, you're better off just fapping it

daffywank
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot
wisc_natureboy

User ID: 51201587
United States
12/08/2013 12:11 PM
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Re: shes gone.
Pack her shit up and drive her back to her Mom's place.

If you can't get all her stuff in your vehicle,
tell her to call when she will be back for the rest,
and inform her it will be outside.

Do not ever let her back into your house.

Good luck, do it today.

Last Edited by wisc_natureboy on 12/08/2013 12:11 PM
We all breathe the same air.
.-.. --- ...- . / .- .-.. .-..
eekers
Dreamer of Dreams

User ID: 38137469
United States
12/08/2013 12:12 PM

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Re: shes gone.
Pack her shit up and drive her back to her Mom's place.

If you can't get all her stuff in your vehicle,
tell her to call when she will be back for the rest,
and inform her it will be outside.

Do not ever let her back into your house.

Good luck, do it today.
 Quoting: wisc_natureboy


this... exes are like vampires. cut that shit off clean and never invite them back in!
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot
( . Y . ) Stripper Orphanage  (OP)

User ID: 46856858
United States
12/08/2013 12:13 PM
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Re: shes gone.
Why did yous break up, if you don't mind me asking?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 215282


I realized how immature she is...
I kinda always knew...

But it never got better.

Watches family guy 24 hrs a day
Plays candy crush constantly
Wont go out
Dont like restaurants
Her idea of dinner is poptarts and mtn dew

I just got tired of the eye rolling and hmmmmmpf if I dared turn on the news...

I had weather channel on watching the cold front, she came in and switched it to a simpsons rerun from 1992...

Big fight... kicked her out.
Please send my shill checks to:
2600 Scenic dr
Austin TX 78703

If I have a bill for $4.27 and give the cashier $5.02, the stunned look on their faces as they give me back $.75 (three quarters) is akin to a magic trick. How did you do that? 

You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.

"- i liked the song before boobs were added. but now. well, boobs. they make everything better dont they? " ~ Green Girl

Credit to all uploaders whose content I steal

?





GLP