You are what is called (in Sweden at least) "private religious". It's more common than you would imagine. And for people being religious to one or the other churches they would be more inclined to walk this way, seeing what fanatic religious people are capable of doing (Syria for one recent example).

I remember seeing a report on this way back that about 20 percent or something like it back then were this. Would think there are more now.

So you are not strange in any way. It sounds you are enlightened in some way. We should as individuals chose our own path, and we would know which in our hearts.