DEEP connection, i experienced the secret PLEASE READ EVERYONE MUST READ

Hey , i don't really know where to start with this and i very much doubt that i will be able to even begin to describe my experience. First of all i had this experience through marijuana, this is the second time this has happened with me through weed. (sorry if this starts jumping around a little there is just so much that i want to try and get across). I used to smoke weed heavily everyday for 4 years , usually 1-2 gram a day everyday and enjoyed it , i could smoke it with friends relax play games chat , then literally if felt overnight this changed, in the space of a week max i had changed into a completely different person , i couldn't see my friends due to anxiety (this wasn't like me i was a really REALLY sociable person and everybody knew that) i became depressed. well this is what the doctors would call it and what at the time i thought it was , through time and learning about myself i have learnt depression and anxiety is somewhat in ways a gift , for me it was the beginning of my spiritual journey and understanding who i really am. but back to the weed lol , from smoking it everyday and in these 4 years trying to quit countless times and failing , literally overnight i stopped, just like that , when ever i smoked it my thought pattern was horrible i couldn't handle it and it was enough for me to pack a habbit in that i had had for years overnight ! as time went on i was suffering deep inside, i didn't know who i was what was happening i was so lost but eventually i learnt to go with it instead of fight it , and now i am beginning to really understand who i am and what life is about. i see the "depression and anxiety" as an ego loss for me . i'm getting caught up again here so will jump straight into the experiences now !
so the first time i had this experience it started out i was with a few friends , i hadn't smoked weed for about 2 years and was worried because i knew what happened but i agreed to give it a go hoping that i was over this mental torture thing that i had previously with it , boy was i wrong , within 5-10 minutes of toking on the joint i fell into complete silence and anxiety , i couldn't talk think straight , this was due to being round people though and them having expectations of being a certain way , how they are, just chilled and relaxed, i felt isolated and paranoid thinking they was all making fun , every thought i had was horrible and i went home . a few days later i had some of the weed left and i thought to myself, all it is is a different state of consciousness this could be my chance to learn more about myself if i actually listen to what is going on up there, so that is what i did i went home rolled my joint , lay back toked. at first the same thoughts came all horrible i tried fighting it and didn't like it but then i remembered this is what i wanted and to just go with it so i did , i started meditating, i could feel my heart beating faster breathing shallower , to a point where i my heart was beating so fast and my breathing so shallow i thought i was going to die or something it got so intense, i lay down and just let it happen decided to just let what ever is happening to happen , and it did , it was amazing , i realized all these thoughts i thought were horrible were not actually horrible, these thoughts were all the answers i needed if i looked deep enough into them and listened hard enough , i realized all the answers i needed about everything was inside of me. everything i wanted to know i knew i realized how much of a cunt i had been with people how i needed to change i got a real ass whupping to be honest but after that arse whupping it was great i felt so much love. another thing it did was showed me the full potential of the imagination and how our body's are connected as mind and body. for example if somebody said to me on a normal day "imagine world war 3 was happening tomorrow" this wouldn't effect me emotionally, but in this state i was in through weed i could imagine it so clear in my head with my imagination that it connected with my body and i could feel the emotions i would if it was really happening , the fear the love for my family the sense of having to protect them everything i could imagine it and feel it so strong i felt connected as one. it made me realize that if everybody somehow reached this state i was in and could live like this in day to day conversation everything would be so genuin every conversation would be so interesting , if the person telling a story was a good story teller or not the imagination had powers beyond our belief to make everything interesting when we could imagine it and connect so clearly .
this is where it gets REALLY REALLY REALLY CRAZY , on my second experience , this was only last night this happened, after about 8 months from having my first experience i thought it was time to go again and see where i ended up. I wasn't even sure if i would have a same king of experience but WOW i did 10 times stronger.
So i toked my joint and lay on my bed and put my headphones in with listening to some chillstep, at first i didn't think anything was happening i was just relaxed and the music sounded great , after about 15 minutes it started kicking my thoughts came and i listened , my heart began beating faster and faster where i nearly let myself think it was a panic attack and i easily could of mistaken it for one but i was familiar with this from my last experience so i let it happen and knew i was on my way. i closed my eyes and it began, it is so hard to put into words but i am going to try my best to explain what happened. I closed my eyes and the only way to describe it was i could see while i had my eyes closed, no visuals or anything but i was going deep into my mind , literally felt like i was going deeper and deeper into it , it was scary but at the same time beautiful. i don't really know how long i was doing this for time was not even on my mind i couldn't tell but then after going deeper and deeper i began to use my imagination again , i could imagine if it was my last day alive and because this felt so real as if it actually was my last day alive i began to see the the things that i would want to do before i died , all the things i would regret that i didn't do that i don't tell the people who i love that i love them so much that we argue over stupid things , the fact i never shown appreciation for the things people do for me. i was going DEEP down and DEEP down i could feel this appreciation i could feel this love SO strong . this is nothing like i can ever begin to describe in a million words yet it is so simple, one simple answer inside of me. i felt love for everybody, even the people i thought i hated , i connected to something deep down and i could feel the pain for the person i thought i hated deep down , i understood why they was the way they were and that really all they want DEEP down is this feeling what i was getting now , it was a feeling that everybody on this planet is in search of. this wasn't just a normal "i love you" or butterfly's when you see somebody you love , this was so deep like nothing i have ever felt. as i lay there going through every person in my life and understanding them and myself i felt there pain and the love for them , as i thought of each person with my imagination and mind my heart connected with that thought, each time i thought of a different person i burst into tears more and more , this was so deep like a superpower or something, as i thought of these people and cried each time at the same time i could feel my heart doing all this , they was tears or love literally i could feel my face stinging from them, as it happened i could feel my heart glowing inside of me again no words can describe this feeling you have to feel it to know but it felt like a warm orb inside of me glowing so bright ,i could feel inside the centre of my head a similar kind of orb glowing brightly and shaking , it wasn't the same what i am calling an "orb" that was in my heart but it was similar, as my heart and brain both did this at the same time my body was pouring with love i could feel what felt like a river of love running through my blood all through my body i felt more alive than i ever had in my life it felt like something you would see on a film , i had my eyes closed but if i could describe what i think it would look like in a film my body would be glowing bright so bright could light up the world. through having this feeling i could see that this was what we are here for , i realized the full potential as us as human beings, i realised this is what we are here for to feel this feeling , but not just once in a while , i know we are capable of living like this 24/7 , in a place where we was so connected that you would cry tears of joy every single time you gave your mum or girlfriend or who ever a hug. It felt like the world we live in today is stopping us from this , the illuminati, this is what they are hiding from us if anything , this is why the news is all bad things negative , we are subconsciously programmed to spot the difference in everyone rather than see the similarity's, programmed to judge people if not the same , programmed to look at stuff like this what i am writing about now to be CRAZY !? but this is far from crazy i know because i have felt it ! no matter who you are the biggest hard man in the world if they felt this they would burst into tears, every soldier in the world would put their guns down in an instant, the illuminati would lose control over us this is what they are hiding in my opinion from this experience. from feeling this i realized we are ALL the same and can all reach this level if we all join as one accepting each other for who we are and above all without feeling stupid being able to talk in confidence to each other about our deepest emotions and feelings as a whole the planet could change if we all realize DEEP down this is what we are looking for if we realize it or not. This planet would be heaven if we all understood we could reach these levels and if we got there once we would never want to go back , this feeling is worth more than all the money in the world.

So yeh that is my experience lol i am sorry if i went on but i had to try and get this across as well as i could, does anybody have any idea what this experience was and why it happened , since i used to smoke weed every day for 4 years and never have this off 4 gram , now i get it off such small amounts i don't understand why :S All i know is what happened to me was amazingly beautiful and everybody on this planet deserves to experience it too. we all deserve to live like this day in day out , my personal opinion just from this is that this is the big awakening , if everybody could realize that this is what we want and work together and accept it then we could reach this heaven on earth and beat the system.

thanks for reading i have never done a report like this before i hope you all enjoyed it and any thoughts or questions would be more than welcome i am very interested to hear other peoples views on what this whole experience might of been ?