Shooter Convinces Crazy Bible Tard to Put Down Errant Beliefs and Surrender to Logic

Amazingly, he just used simple and memorable metaphors to save this woman from a life of magical, wishful thinking.

He then began shooting everyone alphabetically according to last name.

A man named Archie Zitherworth survived after the shooter ran out of ammo after having thought he brought enough bullets for everyone but too many people showed up to the potluck to eat for free in this crap economy.