Christians, please help me. :(

Please pray for me, GLP. I was once a firm believer in Christ but several months ago something happened and I gave up my faith. I became consumed with a burning hatred towards God and anything related to Christianity or religion period. I ripped up every religious book I owned including several bibles and a Tanakh, burned pictures of my baptism and baptism certificates and broke crosses and statues in an attempt to eradicate God and Christ from my life.

It can't just be a coincidence that after that happened my life completely fell apart. I lost my job, my landlord sold my family's house that we were renting to own right out from under us forcing my aunt, mom, little brother and myself to move into a very small travel trailer. My mental health is rapidly deteriorating and I'm depressed, scared, agitated and paranoid all the time. I've become a jealous monster and have started to push my girlfriend away with my insecurities.

It seems like nothing but bad things have happened since I turned away from my faith. I'd wandered from the faith plenty of times and explored other religions and schools of thought but never have I left with such violence and hatred in my heart. Now I can't even pick up a bible or hear a Christian song on the radio without getting furious and quickly pushing the book away or turning the song off and anytime I hear someone pray I start getting blasphemous thoughts in my head and start shouting obscenities to God in my thoughts to drown out the sound of the prayer. I feel like I'm doomed.

Am I beyond forgiveness? Have I opened the door to a demon? Please pray for me, for my family and for my girlfriend.

I was once a firm believer in Christ but several months ago something happened and I gave up my faith.

I feel like I'm doomed.

Am I beyond forgiveness?
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The short answer is this:

1) you are NOT beyond forgiveness.
2) God wants you to return to Him. Re-read the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-24.

A longer response:

I recently found myself in a similar situation. After having given my heart to Jesus, I found myself rejecting God and running from Him about a year and a half ago. Like a dog returning to its own vomit, I returned to my past.

I felt bad but thought that since I had willfully turned away from God and pursued a life of sin, I was beyond redemption. I thought that if I couldn't be forgiven, then what did it matter? I may as well pursue sin with a vengeance.

This only led me to feel even more miserable and beyond hope.

In my heart, though, I longed to be reconciled with God. I just didn't know how I could possibly get back to Him.

Let me tell you right now, thoughts like that (being beyond forgiveness, without hope, etc.) are lies straight from Satan. God is waiting for, and wants you to return to Him. He is a God of mercy.

Micah 7:18 Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy.

I started reading my Bible again; looking for a way back to God. Here is the simple answer that I found:

1) Humble yourself and pray.
- James 4:6 God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

2) Confess your sin to God and ask for His forgiveness.
- 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

3) Repent of your sin (that means to turn away from it and stop doing it).
- 2 Chron 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.


Here are some other versus that comforted me and convinced me that God would indeed have me (and YOU) back:

Ezekial 18:21-23 But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die. All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live. Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord God: and not that he should return from his ways, and live?

Did you catch that? God says that if we will just come back to Him and ask His forgiveness, He will gladly forgive us and won't hold any of the bad stuff we have done against us.

Isaiah 55:7 Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

James 4:8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.

God is waiting for you to return home.

Turn off the television, they call it TV programming for a reason.

That's just not true. That's sounds like your ego speaking in support of your preferred religion/faith. There are people all over the world who have undergone a spiritual rebirth/transformation/awakening and who do not necessarily subscribe to the christian faith. They have broken free from 'death' and 'misery'. Ask around and try not to be close-minded about other peoples' beliefs/experiences/spirituality.

Please pray for me, GLP. I was once a firm believer in Christ but several months ago something happened and I gave up my faith. I became consumed with a burning hatred towards God and anything related to Christianity or religion period. I ripped up every religious book I owned including several bibles and a Tanakh, burned pictures of my baptism and baptism certificates and broke crosses and statues in an attempt to eradicate God and Christ from my life.

It can't just be a coincidence that after that happened my life completely fell apart. I lost my job, my landlord sold my family's house that we were renting to own right out from under us forcing my aunt, mom, little brother and myself to move into a very small travel trailer. My mental health is rapidly deteriorating and I'm depressed, scared, agitated and paranoid all the time. I've become a jealous monster and have started to push my girlfriend away with my insecurities.

It seems like nothing but bad things have happened since I turned away from my faith. I'd wandered from the faith plenty of times and explored other religions and schools of thought but never have I left with such violence and hatred in my heart. Now I can't even pick up a bible or hear a Christian song on the radio without getting furious and quickly pushing the book away or turning the song off and anytime I hear someone pray I start getting blasphemous thoughts in my head and start shouting obscenities to God in my thoughts to drown out the sound of the prayer. I feel like I'm doomed.

Am I beyond forgiveness? Have I opened the door to a demon? Please pray for me, for my family and for my girlfriend.

The LORD will chasten his children, OP. For our benefit.

He does not chasten those who are not his, but those who are his he will. To raise them rightly. To teach them so they may grow up and choose good. So they do not continue to make the same mistakes over and over and grieve the Holy Spirit which dwells within the body.

These are perilous times, OP. we would all do well to work out our salvation and ensure we are fond at peace with God.

He will come upon this generation as a thief. Do not let him come upon you as a thief.

Repent and do the first works. Return to him and he will return to you.
Do not seek the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eye and the lust of the world.

Separate yourself from these things and lean upon him for strenght and he will renew your soul and restore to you the former things.

But do not deceive yourself, OP. every man reaps what he sows.

So sow good things and approved things and let God give you a bountiful harvest.

Payers for your soon restoration, OP.

Not to all,

Matthew 7:21-23


21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’

And Mary is not alive, show me chapter and verse where it says that in the bible. Lies!

OP, you were 100% right to ask "Christians" for help with this situation. But, I've noticed that many non-christians have replied to your thread, which is not a surprise.

Some of these people hate christians and say terrible things about them. These people are under the same negative spiritual influence as you are and it's best to not read their material and entertain their suggestions as it will only lead you farther and farther away from the Lord.

Only listen to Christians that you recognize as christians, not the haters in disguise because they are in the same boat as you now OP.

You are in serious spiritual trouble, and the Lord is letting you know. It's time to take action and decide for yourself if you want to be on of His children, or follow the evil one and be dammed.

This is an honest truth, it's a reality check. I sincerely hope you will rebuke the devil, get yourself free from this unclean spirit (demon) and turn back to the road that leads to life.



Heavenly Father,

We ask you today for help for our brother here in Jesus name. We ask that you allow him to see the path that he is now on, and where it ends. We ask for deliverance from this unclean spirit and it's deception.

We ask that you would help this young man to come back into your Holy Family, the one that brings joy, peace and truth and the one that leads to everlasting life.

Please send your Holy Spirit to help him, to cleanse him and lead him back into the truth.

Please help this young man Lord, In Jesus Name.

:810ressurect:

You are an overcomer, you will get past this - reaching out and realizing your need for your creator was a good step in the right direction. I remember once when I was younger, I had been walking with God, and I became quite impressed with who I was and what I was, almost like I was taking credit for it. It was at that time God allowed me to fail at that and see who I really WAS apart from him - and who it was that really was showing through me to the world in every good thing.

I have one simple thing that comes to mind that may help you from my own experience - there have been times when I have been overwhelmed like you, and I could hardly even speak to God, but finally, those three little words were forced from my soul and my heart, all I could get out... Help me, GOD! And I can honestly say that every single time, his angels were swift to answer and his spirit quick to show its presence. Just start there, begin the dialog... he's always waiting for us - he loves to hear from his children just like any parent would, or like any friend longs to hear from their dearest, closest confidant.

Praying, it will be alright, I have a good feeling...

Lisa, thank you very much for your prayer for me and for your advice which I will do my nest to heed. I suggested in my original post that I had come under the influence of a demon and shortly before my turning away I actually had a dream/vision where a demon attacked me. It was during the day and I had laid down to take a nap after lunch and I hadn't fallen asleep or at least I thought I hadn't fallen asleep yet when a large crack began to form in the wall in front of my bed. I remember getting up to go investigate since I had been living in a pretty old house (built around 1910) so I thought the darn thing was falling apart. The wall started to crumble and I turned around and saw my body asleep in the bed so I figured I was having a strange lucid dream. As the wall fell apart I could see another room that looked just like my bedroom but as in a mirror. All of a sudden I felt something push me into the room and I saw a demon that kind of looked like something out of the Walking Dead climb on top of me and it was growling and trying to attack me. I would try to scream but my mouth felt like it was full of sand or sawdust and no sound would come out. I tried to call out for Jesus but it laughed at me when I couldn't get the words out. Then the wall began to seal up and I was trapped in that mirror room and everything went black and then I woke up back in my bed. I was pretty shaken up but eventually I stopped giving any thought to it. Could it be possible that it had taken over? I thought about it but felt I was just delusional. Ever since then I have been feeling empty and drained all the time, very tired and a severe lack of energy. Anyway I hope I don't sound crazy but then again this is GLP so I wouldn't be the first. Lol. Thank you again for your concern and prayers.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who offered prayers and kind words. Even if some of you don't see eye to eye on things, even to the atheists and trolls. I needed you all in this dark hour of mine and I'm so incredibly grateful for my GLP Family. And most importantly thank you all for helping to lead me back to the Cross. I love you all.

Please pray for me, GLP. I was once a firm believer in Christ but several months ago something happened and I gave up my faith. I became consumed with a burning hatred towards God and anything related to Christianity or religion period. I ripped up every religious book I owned including several bibles and a Tanakh, burned pictures of my baptism and baptism certificates and broke crosses and statues in an attempt to eradicate God and Christ from my life.

It can't just be a coincidence that after that happened my life completely fell apart. I lost my job, my landlord sold my family's house that we were renting to own right out from under us forcing my aunt, mom, little brother and myself to move into a very small travel trailer. My mental health is rapidly deteriorating and I'm depressed, scared, agitated and paranoid all the time. I've become a jealous monster and have started to push my girlfriend away with my insecurities.

It seems like nothing but bad things have happened since I turned away from my faith. I'd wandered from the faith plenty of times and explored other religions and schools of thought but never have I left with such violence and hatred in my heart. Now I can't even pick up a bible or hear a Christian song on the radio without getting furious and quickly pushing the book away or turning the song off and anytime I hear someone pray I start getting blasphemous thoughts in my head and start shouting obscenities to God in my thoughts to drown out the sound of the prayer. I feel like I'm doomed.

Am I beyond forgiveness? Have I opened the door to a demon? Please pray for me, for my family and for my girlfriend.