I have experienced a few peculiar feelings in my life for which I have no name. They are too unique to fit into a common category such as: cheerful, blissful, calm, sad, angry, hopeless, guilty, shameful or anxious. These feelings deserve a classification of their own. I have given each feeling a descriptive name.


Calm Wonder Feeling

I remember a feeling I had in very early childhood. It is a vague memory, like a forgotten smell that you can nearly bring back to your nose. In later childhood, I could summon the feeling for brief moments by thinking about infinity, existence and self. I also felt it in dreams.

I smoked marijuana once and I had it come to me in full force. I lost my “ego” that night; perhaps it is related to the onset of “ego loss”

I can give a description of it from a psychological standpoint, but this does not do it justice: You recognize everything, but at the same time everything has a new feeling. It is like feeling wonder and calm but there is neither a positive or negative atmosphere to it.


Floppy Buzzy Meat-Puppet-Thing Feeling

This is again a feeling I can vaguely remember, but it happens to me on occasion. It usually happens after waking up from a nap at an odd time of day.

When I am in this state, my mind is constantly torturing me with the thought that I am a fragile, uncontrollable, meaty fluid container of improbability.



For at least an hour after entering this state I cannot rid myself of constant thoughts of “What am I?” or “What are people?” or “What is love?”. It is not a curiosity thing; it is a self-torture thing. It is quite an unpleasant feeling. It also has a buzz to it. Not like the buzz when you meditate or have an out of body experience. It is a higher frequency head throbbing that is just on the verge of becoming a buzz.


Dull Deathish Sinking Fear Feeling

Before I explain, I would like to note that it is not sleep paralysis, sleep apnea or a panic attack.

I get this feeling when I have my regular sleep cycle interrupted. For example: I am sleeping for about a half an hour, then the cat knocks something over and it wakes me. I try to get to sleep but I am overwhelmed by the following:

I feel like I am dying, everything feels heavy and difficult. However, at the same time, I know that my body is fine. My mind then starts racing; worrying about family members, thinking about the fragility of life, thinking about all those who have passed, feeling mourning for each of them. This is a very unpleasant feeling.

It is similar in many ways to the Floppy Buzzy Meat-Puppet-Thing Feeling but much more negative.