In Love with 2 People?

Love is a chemical reaction..There is no reason you cant experience the same reaction with two different people.

But actually being "in love". Because, I love a ton of people, but have never been actually in love with more than one at a time.

Maybe you havent allowed yourself to get to the point of having a chemical "connection" with another person because of your beliefs and or morals..That doesnt mean it isnt possible. There is nothing in the human physiology that limits this chemical reaction with just one person, however.

I don't know the answer to that, actually. When I am in love with a person, I don't even have a desire to look at another guy that way.

There was a time, before I got married, that I had two high school sweet hearts. I was in love with them both. No difference in type or intensity of love. I married one and my connection with the other faded.

What made you decide on the one and not the other?

One went to college out of town and the other went to a local college to stay with me...Decision made.

Gotcha. So, the one that went out of town, do you think that she loved you less because she left and the other one stayed? Or was that not even a factor in her moving? Did they know about each other?

Her father went to Auburn and said that he would pay for school if she went there..She asked me to wait. I decided not to.

Yes they knew each other. We all went to the same high school.

Do I think I could love someone else at this current time. Yes, absolutely. I wouldnt allow myself to unless I got divorced, however (which isnt in the cards for either of us)...

Wow, and they were both okay with it?

LOL..No they werent very friendly with each other. I told them I was going to date around and not have committed relationship until I was ready to marry.

LOL, oh okay.

I don't know why she'd stick around either, although for her it's probably a rebound thing? Maybe for him, too. If I was in that situation, I'd always feel like "second best" even if he were to choose me first. It's like "The Bachelor." Lol Whoever the person ends up choosing, it was a BATTLE in their head so I'd always feel doubtful of that person's feelings. If the feelings were that strong, it shouldn't be a struggle, he shouldn't even have to think about it. Imo.

Yeah, I guess it is, but she keeps going back after he breaks it off with her, and then calls her back. I've done that too many times in my life, but not over a 2 week relationship, lol. I agree, 100%.

I think we're so conditioned by society to "be" a certain way, we make decisions based on who we think others we should be with.

Or whatever makes us look the best on the outside. If we were more busy BEING the person we wanted to attract, things would be much easier for everyone.

It seems like lately for whatever reason (I have some inclines), men are lacking the qualities of commitment and loyalty, which is the foundations for a healthy relationship.

Man would rather be dishonest and divisive to stay in control than risk being transparent with their feelings.

hahaha that was jumbled, "decisions based on who others think we should be with"

Yep, I agree. In this case, everyone we know thinks we shouldn't be together. We fought, a lot.

Absolutely. I don't know many people in general who are completely honest with their feelings.

So in my roundabout way I don't believe you can be "in love" with 2 people. That takes 2 hearts, 2 minds, 2 souls....2 lifetimes of trust, dedication and loyalty...and most of us have enough trouble with just one.

For me personally I would say no. I think I may be sexually attracted to another but to be in love with more then one man kind of goes against the grain of what love is to me.

If I am in love with someone there can be no one else.

Yes, it is.

But you can only go further with one.

When you are in a relationship in love with each other, you are creating an protection-aura with your counterpart.
This can´t happen with 2...

How can he be in love with someone he's only known for 2 weeks? He is probably very sexually attracted to her and likes her personality but I believe true love takes some time to develop.

Indigo I read through some more of the thread and have some insight.

It appears that you both still love each other. I think he feels that he is in love with the other woman because the relationship right now between them is so carefree and new.

I have a feeling that one of the major problems between you had to do with the children. It must be hard for you to not have his daughter around since you have been caring for her for so long, she thinks of you as mom I am sure.

If you both feel you can make it work try. If not then you'll both have to step away.

I wish you the best...you're a nice person.

I agree. I can love many, but actually in love, nope.

Absolutely.

Makes perfect sense.

LOL, I agree. He hasn't said he is in love with her, but was sort of implying that he loves me, but wants to fall in love with her.

Thank you. I think you are an awesome person as well :). I agree that we still love each other, and she is brand new, not a care in the world. He is way younger than me, so she is much more on his level. I've been a parent for 17 years, he has been a parent for 5 years, but even then, I did most of the parenting. That is exactly it. If it weren't for his daughter, no way I would have stayed as long as I did. I think I could make it work...or did last week, lol. I don't know if I want to at this point. He is back and forth with thinking that we can make it work. However, yesterday he accidentally sent me a sext text meant for her and now I am repulsed by him.

The capacity to love is infinite,
and infinite is the number of ways a person can express it.
Love yourself first and foremost OP,
then let go of anything that is not in your unique expression of the foundational force of the Universe; Love.

Thank you :). :hf: