General’s Controversial Graduation Speech

The General then resumes his “motivational speech” to what he referred to as “the rest of you shit-stains.”

“You’ll most likely spend your deployment sitting on a FOB, manning guard towers, or waiting to go on patrols that get cancelled. I have a reality check for you all. Not everyone in this room is a hero. I don’t give a shit what the beer commercials say. You drag your buddy out of a grape hut after you’ve stabbed two Taliban in the eyes with a broken MRE spoon then you’re a motherfucking American Hero. You clear a trench with nothing but a sack of hand-grenades and your giant brass balls, then you’re a motherfucking hero! But walking through the desert for three months without hearing a shot fired in anger and posting pictures in your combat gear doesn’t make you a goddamned hero! I don’t care what your family says. They’re not heroes. Neither are your fucking wives. Hardest job in the Army, my ass! Damn it, I’m too old for this shit. Fuck you all.”

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