Why do the biggest cme's happen on the far side of the sun????

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I think you do not know the size ration between earth and the sun.
Imagin sun being the size of a soccer ball, then earth is smaller than a pea.
In this case 99% of all CMEs regardless where they are will miss earth. Every now and then one will hit earth.
There are constant CMEs all over the sun and in all directions. Its just that earth is far too small for the sun to hit it right on target on regular basis.

The 'other side' of the sun is where the alien space ships hang out.

They are our friends.

When they detect that a cme is about to occur that will threaten earth they shoot a 500 billion watt phaser burst (an energy beam) from their ship so that the cme will trigger when the sun is facing away from us on 'their' side of the sun.

So, they really are our friends and we owe them a lot

It's our sun.