At that last moment... Will You Be Alive?

I'm not sure if I'm what you'd call a doom tard? Probably much to cynical for that, but I spend a lot of time concentrating on how to avoid my own demise. I think that's what a lot of us have in common. We feel a greater power within us, that's greater than us... and plainly stated...we don't want to die yet.

With all that's going on around us every day, it's nearly impossible to focus wholeheartedly on our everyday lives. It's so easy to lose 4 or 5 hours researching the nuclear implications arising, or the sure to come "fallout" from the Horizon well. The economy and the rate the dollar seems to keep slipping... lending many American's to think and believe that our reign as the greatest country on the Earth... is over. The constant violations by our government against our civil rights. Implementing new laws that are no where near helping us or fixing things... and calling that progress. The stifling of our own ideas daily by the increasing difficulty to just make it through the day is almost more than one can stand. The looming prospect of 2012. Is it true? Will it happen? There's even a facebook page dedicated to signing in on December 22, 2012. Asking "will you be there?" Some answer, "maybe," some answer, "no." It's very unsure, all around us. Sometimes I'll be doing something so simple as washing the dishes, and I feel like if I don't go to my son's room, and hug him right away, maybe I'll never get to again. That's awful. I don't know if my Dad felt that way or not, he's gone now, but I don't remember him ever feeling as unsure as I surely do now. It's overwhelming. Not to mention the fact that we really share this Earth with some sick bastards to say the least. My point is... that it sucks, for everyone I think. We must all be trying to deal with it the best we can. Because you have to.

I just wanted to write this, because maybe someone right now is feeling just as lost as I do sometimes, and maybe just doesn't know what to do about it. Maybe you don't have the money to stockpile the supplies you might like to. Maybe you can only pay your rent right now. God knows my mortgage company would love LOVE for me to slip, just a little, I can't imagine what most people go through. Judging by what I go through, probably quite a bit. Those people in Japan??? Goodness! My God! I cannot fathom the grief. And I have lost, believe me, I've burried two of my children, I know loss. I know lack of justice. Through it all, the sun still shines on me today. Today, I can still walk outside and get in my car, drive wherever I want to, and enjoy whatever I find there... if I choose.

I've heard it said from scripture that even up to the last day, people will be going about their daily lives. As if we should have conviction about that. As if somehow, like in the day of Noah, somehow, we should be on a boat. Or in today's looming doom... be in a bunker. Surely, even when Noah was alive, everyone couldn't board the ark. Surely today, we can't all board the bunker. What would it be like when you came out? If it all goes to hell... what will it be like? Me either. I don't know, you don't know... so live. Today. Be happy for what you have. Be happy for the life you have been given. Make choices that make you feel good. Say what's important. Do what you can~ do not let yourself feel guilty for things you cannot, by any means, change. Because it's ok to be living up to the last minute. That's better than sitting and fearing the last minute every free day til then. It's kind of like we all found out we have a death sentence at the same time. That's kind of a strange analogy I guess, but it is. Maybe we'll get a pardon, who knows? But if we don't, at least we know we're going to appreciate every single day til that last day arrives. Then, when you know it's here, at least you can go with a smile on your face and say... "I enjoyed the love and the living I found here, it was a hell of a ride!" Smell some lemons and blueberries while you still can. Take a walk ~ no one's waiting to shoot you yet. Focus on the life you have today... there's not much any of us can do at this point about tomorrow.

I think I'm allergic to iodine... just sayin~ :)


Peace~

Last Edited by Jen on 03/25/2011 11:28 AM