ANNHILATION ANXIETY... 101

Feeling overwhelmed ... hate to blow anyone's thread. Everywhere I look there's an ad poster with a beautiful model selling shampoo, and opposite, a newspaper showing catastrophic proportions like no other.

Eating dinner has become parallel with watching the sky with the ... I have to say uncommon feeling... that something's not right. I've never been a fall in line and freak sort of person. Always figured life would be what you made it for the biggest part.

The things that really get me is how this happened quite this way, I'm just really not sure. Guess it wasn't done by the hands of my generation, we thought life was so ... lol, fun! Guaranteed. Wish I'd have known then what I see happening now. I'd have given more of those bastard "system" types a harder time when the penalty wasn't so severe. Now, the penalty is SOO severe. Guess they're trying to manage the masses so we don't get out of control.

I thought from the moment I ... Awakened?... if that's even correct, I thought there would be time to prepare. Somewhere to go... if things started getting bad. I think I was thinking on the scale of over-polluted, over-populated areas. I thought, I'll make it, we'll make it. I really wonder. After the oil spill. I still worry about what effect that will have. The PTB stuff it down our throats that all is well, but all isn't well, of that much I'm sure. Positive. I live on the Gulf Coast, and I worry for my children, for their future's, their children's children. Then I wonder why I worry that. Who said that would happen. The next 2 years would be nice, let alone the next 20. This nuclear situation in Japan, they're lying to us I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure that explosion was the beginning of a release they'll admit to after the damage is done, or maybe never admit to. Either way, we can rest assured, all is not well in those plants. I can't resite the things I've read, but I've read plenty in the last 18 hours, and there's trouble coming from that Fukushima plant, I'd bet on it...

Lots of people don't know really... do they? They think things are ok. The other day, there were 5 to 7, I'd lose count because they would dodge in and out of the smoky fog they were creating, but 5 to 7 planes, broad daylight, flying not 150' overhead, and there was a clear view of the plane's, not one marking visible, and smoke clearly turning into more compounding smoke and muddied the entire sky within 3 hours. No one even seemed to look up, or twice, or even notice. I video taped it all, for my own peace of mind, I don't think anyone even see's what's happening.

I feel like time's up. I don't know what to do. Maybe that's the same with everyone else I think doesn't care. Maybe they just don't know what the fuck to do??? I don't even want to take my youngest to school some days. I just want to keep him home, enjoy his company, let him know me better, know him more. Because I know the others pretty well, and I just feel like there won't be long. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I don't know what all I should have together, or what all would be the best kit to try to put together in case??? It's probably too late huh? To do much I mean. But really, what is there? 101, what is there? Iodine pills, how many per person, for how long. A good plan of action, sucks to be so close to Houston, the plants... lol, probably will see a bright white light and think... oh shit, and that's about it. Too much food traveling would get you killed I would think. Probably best to stay away from large crowded areas, but then, what if there was a tsunami, how long would there be to get away, and which way, up I know but how... then there's the problem of trying to live regular life and pay bills. How much more stress can society take? It just keeps piling on, every day. Really, how much more and what can we do about it. Seems to be coming from every direction. Any serious suggestions would be much appreciated, this is really the only place thinking people think.