FOR GUYS ONLY

working on it, nights still young

Sounds like alot of work. I would have just handed her the fiver.

Hmmm.


No cheese or croutons on the salad?


No peppers or olives?


Hmmm.


Tsk, I dunno man.

picked her up from work brought her home tied her to the bed sos

Noob
I walked in the door empty handed.
Dinner was cooking. My favourite TV show was on. A cold slab of beer in the fridge.
I was handed a beer, sat down on the lounge, and got a BJ. During the ad break.

That's sexist !

4.99 for the flowers??? geez dude...way to go cheap! I guess it worked for you but damn...$4.99???? geez...might as well have spent the 4.99 on a clit stimulator from the internet....bet she would have like that!

You had better have gone to the Dollar Tree for a vase, jackass!!!

Meatloaf and potatoes....lmao. Classy.

Haha.

"If Carlsberg did married life..."

Yes and Yes. I just didn't go into full details.

I came home from work. The husband said he was horny. We had sex. He was happy. I gave it to him because I like him. I didn't especially want to but I want him to be happy. Hopefully he'll give me a massage later. If not, that's ok too.

She has a bunch of empty vases around. I just met her Monday BTW.

and she cooks for you every night and what do you do?

LMAO! Maybe he could have got the flowers there for a dollar too....

Who you talking too???

how much did she weigh romeo?

Keep up the good work Odie.
Let me know if you don't get your massage...

well fuck, if she's willing to screw you for some cheap grocery store wilted flowers, then good for you.

Sounds great! Now, if you ever move out of Mom's house...

LOL classic

That explains her behavior...and yours.

:)

I'm sorry but you didn't add up the cost correctly!

Who much was the wine?
Have you tried skipping the flowers and meal and just had the wine with the same results?

Odie the the best!

well fuck, if she's willing to screw you for some cheap grocery store wilted flowers, then good for you.

Really? How much you get paid for fuck Only Me? Women who demand to get gifts or favors for sex are just whores and parasites. Your kind must be mass killed.

It was her wine and her groceries to make the meatloaf. What started it was I heard from someone who had been a regular customer at my parents restaurant in Germany so we did the "I will be your server tonight"routine. She did not have to dress up or go out in the snow and I show her how it was done. Never had a tip like that though!!

I told her that next Friday I was going to pick up a couple of steaks and do the same routine. She must think that is funny. When I got home, she sent me a joke:

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,OKAY!

ROFL GOOD ONE!!! and so true