Schools charging AUTISTIC & SPECIAL NEEDS children with ASSAULT!! ????? WTF is wrong with society?

... How would you like to be a child who does not know why something is happening that is so weird, hard to describe, and expect parents to be able to explain it to them, yet either they can't, don't know, or don't care? Autistic people are truly in a world of their own from childbirth on more than one level.

Especially, when teachers, authority figures tell them to 'get with the program.'

Emotional dispair will eventually win out with somebody with no options.

Thanks 1151435 those are good points.

I have an autistic son, although now they are saying Asperger's because he is high functioning. The doctors don't say autism but the schools do. So fine, we'll let the school give him an IEP and take extra special care of him. He does need special help and accommodation in some ways, he's in mainstream classrooms. I thank God every day he goes to school, for everything they've done for him. He'll have a good life largely because of it.

Indeed every case is different, but that's true for those not categorized on the spectrum as well. I think a lot of autistic kids can be trained to deal with their weaknesses and accommodate them. We all have to learn that.

I'll assume OP's son has an IEP in school. He should under the requirements of IDEA, and the fed. government pays much of the extra cost of educating him.

... he may try nothing at all and start hitting his head to 'get it working again.' ...

Anyone have any personal experiences to share?

...
Keep using language like 'training' and may I suggest you take your son out and lock him in your car garage and fill it up with carbon monoxide.
...

... and due to his "learned" maladaptive behaviours he could not be mainstreamed and supposedly they tried AND it was both the security and cafeteria STAFF telling me that THEY were instigating him to act up---

... he may try nothing at all and start hitting his head to 'get it working again.' ...
This does happen with our son, and I have worked with him to get him to react differently to frustration.

... and due to his "learned" maladaptive behaviours he could not be mainstreamed and supposedly they tried AND it was both the security and cafeteria STAFF telling me that THEY were instigating him to act up---


This is interesting. I have another son in school who is not autistic, maybe a touch of ADHD and fairly moody, but he has a very bad principal. This principal has been on a program for over a year to drive my son into trouble and put some sort of label on him, to prevent him from having a normal simple elementary school experience.

I'm thinking of pulling him out until he ages out of the elementary school and can go to middle school. He's ahead academically and all he really gets from school is the music lessons anyway. But I cannot understand how a principal can try to get a kid in trouble rather than trying to help a kid go thru school smoothly. I still marvel in amazement at such a crazy person.

... and due to his "learned" maladaptive behaviours he could not be mainstreamed and supposedly they tried AND it was both the security and cafeteria STAFF telling me that THEY were instigating him to act up---


This is interesting. I have another son in school who is not autistic, maybe a touch of ADHD and fairly moody, but he has a very bad principal. This principal has been on a program for over a year to drive my son into trouble and put some sort of label on him, to prevent him from having a normal simple elementary school experience.

I'm thinking of pulling him out until he ages out of the elementary school and can go to middle school. He's ahead academically and all he really gets from school is the music lessons anyway. But I cannot understand how a principal can try to get a kid in trouble rather than trying to help a kid go thru school smoothly. I still marvel in amazement at such a crazy person.

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no. you MAKE THEM remove your son and put him in theee school that "meets his needs" and what you're going to do is find a private school that can accomodate him and present your case when THEY take you to their kangarOO court.

fight back every single time they call you on the phone --i remember them calling me to come and get him because......he PUSHED A PENCIL OFF THE DESK...he pushed a pencil off his desk--he didn't throw it,he pushed it off the desk in a SPECIAL ED CLASS---and meanwhile i had 2 other kids in the regular sector of this hS and many things went out the windows or were thrown at other students etc---they didn't want an AUTISTIC student in their freekin skOOl and due to his proven and graded capacity the programs for autistics had nothing to offer him--
it got to the point they took me to court and i simply signed him out as his behaviour had deteriorated to the point where NO private school would take him.

fight back HARD and get your kid the education that is supposedly DUE HIM UNDER THE BS LAW.....and if ""they"" cannot provide it, your school district is supposed to fund IT-even in a private setting--

here in nyc,special ed is the biggest bastard hell hole on the face of the earth and they get three times the $$ per student and it's all wasted on the crap like getting ""permission"" to advance then whatever--when he was in the montessori school--it was between him and the teacher to exhibit proficiency and move--not a board or committee.
mygawd the work he did there and there was no way the programs could have kept building on that foundation.
total waste.
total bs.

fight back.

This may be futile, but autistic kids, and Aspergers, end up with various obsessions, 'gifts' as some people call it, (that's another debate)...

If your son is banging his head try to get him to hum, sing. Oh, it will be repetitive, and if you're an asshole, it will be annoying, but singing and humming also helps. (He is to sing or hum his favorite songs).

Rocking back and forth, with a pillow behind him and you HAVE to allow him to do this, until you can reach him and help with other means.

You have no idea how nightmarish it is when this is happening, WHY he is doing this and what he is feeling when he does it.

This isn't some sort of misbehaving, this is serious shit, and if you can't get that through your head, then as I've said, call Dr. Kevorkian, because he deserves better parents.

The 'feeling' that is happening to him is indescribable. How do I know? You're talking to one of 'those monsters' right now, that's who's typing this, an adult version of your son, who has made it out of that, who no longer has those symptoms and severe problems...believe me when I tell you, if you ignore this, if you mistreat it, he'll hate you for the rest of your life, if he even survives.

This rocking/head banging thing is serious, its not funny, and if you only knew what he was going through.

...
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no. you MAKE THEM remove your son and put him in theee school that "meets his needs" and what you're going to do is find a private school that can accomodate him and present your case when THEY take you to their kangarOO court.
...

reread it and it is really worse then i first thought

there is probably a parent or two on here

ask yourself this- would you worry about your son becoming violent at 10 and getting in trouble? and then list cases?
for something that has not happened?

sounds like she wants it to happen to me

better yet- seems like a normal parent would go to get psychlogical and professional help
for their child- there are agencies all over the place
- the last thing anyone who loved their child would do is use them for content on a message board

that is something a self centered evil person would do in my mind

lol

Anyone have any personal experiences to share?

Dont they have schools for the handicapped in your area? My son went 10 yeas to a school for the handicapped now he is 42 and goes to an Adult day center for the handicapped. I would worry to much sending them to a regular school even if they had classrooms for them, they still would have to be around so call normal kids making fun of them, they have feeling too.



NO special schools in my area.


I worry constantly when I send him to school.
They are so incompetent!

"Issues" such as violent fathers, or perhaps even some of your own aren't immediately going to be the center of dealing with what is really happening to a child with autism.

Emotional processes fail, not because he's incapable of something because of some refusal on his part to 'deal,' and it may be both totally separate from dysfunctional issues in a family, as well as bound up with them.

Regardless, if he is truly autistic, he's autistic, and will be this way for a really long time, deal with that.

Along side of this issue, will of course be the father, divorce, dysfunctional family issues, but right now, he's got problems that not many people are even going to begin to understand, and what he needs most of all is the understanding of SOMEBODY.

How would you like to be a child who does not know why something is happening that is so weird, hard to describe, and expect parents to be able to explain it to them, yet either they can't, don't know, or don't care? Autistic people are truly in a world of their own from childbirth on more than one level.

Especially, when teachers, authority figures tell them to 'get with the program.'

Emotional dispair will eventually win out with somebody with no options.

... How would you like to be a child who does not know why something is happening that is so weird, hard to describe, and expect parents to be able to explain it to them, yet either they can't, don't know, or don't care? Autistic people are truly in a world of their own from childbirth on more than one level.

Especially, when teachers, authority figures tell them to 'get with the program.'

Emotional dispair will eventually win out with somebody with no options.

The flip side is, how would you like to be kept out of society, protected from having a real life? Until perhaps the protection isn't there any more and then you're helpless, because you never learned in a protected environment like school.

We don't know that the teachers and authority figures are clueless or heartless. It sounds like the principal is nothing like that, knows that accommodations are needed and is trying to provide them.

he is autistric because you do not love him and he knows

you talk about your ex husband and the big bad school rather then about your son

seems like i would never get on a consporacy board and tell strangers my son is autistic and then rant

you are the cause


he acts out to get attention
he does not get from his bitch unloving cunt of a mother

This may be futile, but autistic kids, and Aspergers, end up with various obsessions, 'gifts' as some people call it, (that's another debate)...

If your son is banging his head try to get him to hum, sing. Oh, it will be repetitive, and if you're an asshole, it will be annoying, but singing and humming also helps. (He is to sing or hum his favorite songs).

Rocking back and forth, with a pillow behind him and you HAVE to allow him to do this, until you can reach him and help with other means.

You have no idea how nightmarish it is when this is happening, WHY he is doing this and what he is feeling when he does it.

This isn't some sort of misbehaving, this is serious shit, and if you can't get that through your head, then as I've said, call Dr. Kevorkian, because he deserves better parents.

The 'feeling' that is happening to him is indescribable. How do I know? You're talking to one of 'those monsters' right now, that's who's typing this, an adult version of your son, who has made it out of that, who no longer has those symptoms and severe problems...believe me when I tell you, if you ignore this, if you mistreat it, he'll hate you for the rest of your life, if he even survives.

This rocking/head banging thing is serious, its not funny, and if you only knew what he was going through.

reread it and it is really worse then i first thought

there is probably a parent or two on here

ask yourself this- would you worry about your son becoming violent at 10 and getting in trouble? and then list cases?
for something that has not happened?

sounds like she wants it to happen to me

better yet- seems like a normal parent would go to get psychlogical and professional help
for their child- there are agencies all over the place
- the last thing anyone who loved their child would do is use them for content on a message board

that is something a self centered evil person would do in my mind

lol

Sometimes the help here is better than that which you pay for. If there are 10 responses and 2 of those are good, you got more than your money's worth! So I don't see anything wrong with that.

But I don't understand either why OP is so concerned about her kid getting in legal trouble. Nobody in authority is threatening that. I don't know how good the school is, but it seems the school wants to take care of her kid and teach him. As for the behavior complaints which are getting worse, all we've done is guess why that might be. OP hasn't given enough detail for us to know what's going on.

Dont they have schools for the handicapped in your area? My son went 10 yeas to a school for the handicapped now he is 42 and goes to an Adult day center for the handicapped. I would worry to much sending them to a regular school even if they had classrooms for them, they still would have to be around so call normal kids making fun of them, they have feeling too.



NO special schools in my area.


I worry constantly when I send him to school.
They are so incompetent!


I would suggest moving to an area that has a special needs classroom set up, then make sure he gets an IEP (individualised Education Program) set up. Do it right away, or your child will end up in dhs foster care! There are a number of schools that can accomodate special needs, look for a larger school especially, they have better funding for special education.