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If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend

 
house wife
User ID: 1049522
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10/22/2010 05:53 PM
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If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend as you wish once in a while?

If you took care of the kids, and took care of everything around the house are you ethically entitled to spend some of your hubby's money on yourself once in a while?

I'm asking because I would like to go out for drinks tonight with a friend of mine who I recently helped deliver her baby. I never get out of the house, I am constantly here but I don't have any money of my own to spend to go out.

Do you think I am reasonably entitled to ask hubby to give me money for my night out? I know I deserve it god it feels like forever since I socialized with anyone.

Help?
spiritnut

User ID: 1005728
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10/22/2010 05:57 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
I don't know if it is ethical....but there is a lot of time involved so it should be worth something.
Question everything
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1138548
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10/22/2010 06:00 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
what if yer a stay at home husband and yer wife works full time?
Anonymous Coward
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10/22/2010 06:00 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
Sure, I think it's fair.

But at the same time, I think it deserves a real conversation, with a bit more of a heads up than "later tonight".
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1049522
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10/22/2010 06:01 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
I don't know if it is ethical....but there is a lot of time involved so it should be worth something.
 Quoting: spiritnut


Alot of time involved in what? Sorry, please clarify. What would be worth something?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1127185
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10/22/2010 06:01 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
IF you were filing for Divorce, the courts would say YES.

Even though you don't draw a salary for your "domestic duties", if you were not there, someone else would have to be hired to do the job, and, they would be paid.

IF you are living in a marriage where you have no financial freedom because you don't work, and your husband does, you need counseling NOW!
Nikki_LaVey

User ID: 1120752
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10/22/2010 06:02 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
what if yer a stay at home husband and yer wife works full time?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1138548


It works both ways .... YES!
How Can You Be Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere at all
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 982910
United States
10/22/2010 06:03 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend as you wish once in a while?

If you took care of the kids, and took care of everything around the house are you ethically entitled to spend some of your hubby's money on yourself once in a while?

I'm asking because I would like to go out for drinks tonight with a friend of mine who I recently helped deliver her baby. I never get out of the house, I am constantly here but I don't have any money of my own to spend to go out.

Do you think I am reasonably entitled to ask hubby to give me money for my night out? I know I deserve it god it feels like forever since I socialized with anyone.

Help?
 Quoting: house wife 1049522


You sound like you're in a bad situation, to be honest. My wife is a housewife and I don't care if she goes out with her friends or spends our money. Our only rule is that if we're going to buy something big we talk to the other first, but it's just a common courtesy.

That you're even getting advice on asking is, to me, a red flag.

I'm sorry you're in this situation and I wish you the best.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1138562
United Kingdom
10/22/2010 06:04 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
Damn right you are, he gets money, you can't earn money because you're looking after BOTH OF YOURS' kids, why don't you suggest YOU go do all the work, HE can stay at home and use his time to look after the kids and YOU will get all the money you earn to do with as you please (minus the costs associated with 'upkeep' of the family, of course)

Oh, he's not up for that? weird...
Anonymous Coward
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10/22/2010 06:04 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
Definately yes! If he doesn't then he's an asshole.
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
10/22/2010 06:05 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
Though I should add I would obviously actually consider spending time with my family as more important than acquiring biosurvival tickets, so long as you can survive anyway
Anonymous Coward
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10/22/2010 06:06 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
yes
Tali

User ID: 1018633
United States
10/22/2010 06:07 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
Of course.

Add up the expenses of having a maid, child care and cook and show it to him.
Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. ~Colette
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 554016
United States
10/22/2010 06:10 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
That depends on if there is extra money left after the bills and such.

Does he spend money on things like that for himself?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1049522
Canada
10/22/2010 06:14 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend as you wish once in a while?

If you took care of the kids, and took care of everything around the house are you ethically entitled to spend some of your hubby's money on yourself once in a while?

I'm asking because I would like to go out for drinks tonight with a friend of mine who I recently helped deliver her baby. I never get out of the house, I am constantly here but I don't have any money of my own to spend to go out.

Do you think I am reasonably entitled to ask hubby to give me money for my night out? I know I deserve it god it feels like forever since I socialized with anyone.

Help?


You sound like you're in a bad situation, to be honest. My wife is a housewife and I don't care if she goes out with her friends or spends our money. Our only rule is that if we're going to buy something big we talk to the other first, but it's just a common courtesy.

That you're even getting advice on asking is, to me, a red flag.

I'm sorry you're in this situation and I wish you the best.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 982910


Yes, I am in a bad situation. You see right threw me.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts, I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 554016
United States
10/22/2010 06:14 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
That depends on if there is extra money left after the bills and such.

Does he spend money on things like that for himself?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 554016

I say this cause my wife is always asking for money that we dont have. I never go out and spend like she does yet she gets very angry if i deny her anything.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 792969
United States
10/22/2010 06:15 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
Seriously?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1049522
Canada
10/22/2010 06:16 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
Damn right you are, he gets money, you can't earn money because you're looking after BOTH OF YOURS' kids, why don't you suggest YOU go do all the work, HE can stay at home and use his time to look after the kids and YOU will get all the money you earn to do with as you please (minus the costs associated with 'upkeep' of the family, of course)

Oh, he's not up for that? weird...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1138562


+80000 - I agree whole heartedly. I haven't been able to get back to work as I have been raising our two children for the past 4 years.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1049522
Canada
10/22/2010 06:17 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
That depends on if there is extra money left after the bills and such.

Does he spend money on things like that for himself?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 554016


Oh yeah there definitely is. He usually spends it on himself golfing and such.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1077402
United Kingdom
10/22/2010 06:17 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
That depends on if there is extra money left after the bills and such.

Does he spend money on things like that for himself?

I say this cause my wife is always asking for money that we dont have. I never go out and spend like she does yet she gets very angry if i deny her anything.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 554016


Give her a fixed allowance and tell her that's all she gets. If she complains tell her you can get a Russian bride for less.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 554016
United States
10/22/2010 06:18 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
That depends on if there is extra money left after the bills and such.

Does he spend money on things like that for himself?

I say this cause my wife is always asking for money that we dont have. I never go out and spend like she does yet she gets very angry if i deny her anything.


Give her a fixed allowance and tell her that's all she gets. If she complains tell her you can get a Russian bride for less.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1077402


She is russian
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 846553
United States
10/22/2010 06:22 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
It is so sad you even have to ask this question. You work for his paycheck too. Calculate how much childcare would be, a housecleaner, a cook, driver for the kids, personal shopper, etc....

Any man who thinks the job well done at home isn't really a job is not a man worth having.
CRYSTAL in MATRIX

User ID: 1064319
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10/22/2010 06:22 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
Absolutely, op....

But let me ask you this.....does he use money to manipulate you, or keep you at home, and away from friends or treating yourself to something nice once in awhile? Does he make you feel guilty because you have to "ask" for some of "his" money?
"No guts, no glory!"
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1049522
Canada
10/22/2010 06:22 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
That depends on if there is extra money left after the bills and such.

Does he spend money on things like that for himself?

I say this cause my wife is always asking for money that we dont have. I never go out and spend like she does yet she gets very angry if i deny her anything.


Give her a fixed allowance and tell her that's all she gets. If she complains tell her you can get a Russian bride for less.


She is russian
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 554016


Ohhh shiit! I agree with a fixed allowance though, I hate to think of it as an allowance however.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 982910
United States
10/22/2010 06:22 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
That depends on if there is extra money left after the bills and such.

Does he spend money on things like that for himself?

I say this cause my wife is always asking for money that we dont have. I never go out and spend like she does yet she gets very angry if i deny her anything.


Give her a fixed allowance and tell her that's all she gets. If she complains tell her you can get a Russian bride for less.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1077402


Those Russian chicks flip out on you and try to kill you once they work their way in. I'd be really careful telling your wife this, because she may just let you and then where would you be? Right - you'd be running in fear from your new slavic wife.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 624751
United States
10/22/2010 06:23 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
Hell no you aren't entitled to his money to spend out trampin around with your friend. Your job is to stay home with the children, that's the choice you made when you decided to become a mom.

Leave that man and his money alone.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1049522
Canada
10/22/2010 06:23 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
Absolutely, op....

But let me ask you this.....does he use money to manipulate you, or keep you at home, and away from friends or treating yourself to something nice once in awhile? Does he make you feel guilty because you have to "ask" for some of "his" money?
 Quoting: CRYSTAL in MATRIX


Absolutely he does. It's pathetic I know.. :(
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1049522
Canada
10/22/2010 06:24 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
Hell no you aren't entitled to his money to spend out trampin around with your friend. Your job is to stay home with the children, that's the choice you made when you decided to become a mom.

Leave that man and his money alone.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 624751


Tramping around? LMFAO, thanks buddy ;)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1077402
United Kingdom
10/22/2010 06:24 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
Give her a fixed allowance and tell her that's all she gets. If she complains tell her you can get a Russian bride for less.


She is russian


lolsign

Chinese then...
Tali

User ID: 1018633
United States
10/22/2010 06:25 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
Absolutely, op....

But let me ask you this.....does he use money to manipulate you, or keep you at home, and away from friends or treating yourself to something nice once in awhile? Does he make you feel guilty because you have to "ask" for some of "his" money?


Absolutely he does. It's pathetic I know.. :(
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1049522


Ugh he sounds like my ex....

And know whats funny? after we divorced he did go to russia, thailand and mexico for a new wife.
Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. ~Colette
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 982910
United States
10/22/2010 06:29 PM
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Re: If you are a stay at home mom taking care of kids and house and your husband works full time, are you ethically entitled to some of his money to spend
Absolutely, op....

But let me ask you this.....does he use money to manipulate you, or keep you at home, and away from friends or treating yourself to something nice once in awhile? Does he make you feel guilty because you have to "ask" for some of "his" money?


Absolutely he does. It's pathetic I know.. :(


Ugh he sounds like my ex....

And know whats funny? after we divorced he did go to russia, thailand and mexico for a new wife.
 Quoting: Tali


Well I hope he got one of those nasty Russian black widows. A nice girl like you? Please. He was a loser and you're better off without him.

I hope OP breaks away from the turd she's married to also.





GLP