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Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

 
Chawlee
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User ID: 661245
Switzerland
09/27/2010 09:00 AM
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Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a
deserted street with your wife
and two small children.

Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife
comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities,
raises the knife, and charges at you...

You are carrying a
Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?


THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
This is all so confusing!

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .. Republican's Answer:

BANG!

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ...... Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1111391
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09/27/2010 09:05 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Good example but I would add this, I do think the Dems are a bit more violent then we give them credit for.
Anonymous Coward
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09/27/2010 09:08 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
hunter
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1111839
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09/27/2010 09:09 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Good example but I would add this, I do think the Dems are a bit more violent then we give them credit for.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1111391


It's a nice way to make fun of democrats, but anyone in that situation would shoot the guy charging at his family with a knife, democrat or not.
dough dude

User ID: 322602
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09/27/2010 09:11 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Southern and dayam proud of it!
Failing to plan, is planning to fail.

All intelligent people are conscious, not all conscious people are intelligent.
dough dude

User ID: 322602
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09/27/2010 09:13 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
And a 3%er too!!!
Failing to plan, is planning to fail.

All intelligent people are conscious, not all conscious people are intelligent.
Storm 2 come

User ID: 1105596
United States
09/27/2010 09:18 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Good example but I would add this, I do think the Dems are a bit more violent then we give them credit for.


It's a nice way to make fun of democrats, but anyone in that situation would shoot the guy charging at his family with a knife, democrat or not.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1111839


No because the dems want to outlaw gun ownership and are trying to disarm the citizens look at the Clintons and Obamas voting records, Not to say Both Bushies were any better, but the democommies and libtards hate gun ownership it threatens the dependance on the nanny-state
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1078178
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09/27/2010 09:21 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Good example but I would add this, I do think the Dems are a bit more violent then we give them credit for.


It's a nice way to make fun of democrats, but anyone in that situation would shoot the guy charging at his family with a knife, democrat or not.


No because the dems want to outlaw gun ownership and are trying to disarm the citizens look at the Clintons and Obamas voting records, Not to say Both Bushies were any better, but the democommies and libtards hate gun ownership it threatens the dependance on the nanny-state
 Quoting: Storm 2 come


More left vs. right, Democrat vs. Republican, "liberal" vs. "conservative" bullshit.

C'mon people, wake the fuck up out of the government two-party / two-ideology PSYOP already.
Chawlee  (OP)

User ID: 661245
Switzerland
09/27/2010 09:21 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Good example but I would add this, I do think the Dems are a bit more violent then we give them credit for.


It's a nice way to make fun of democrats, but anyone in that situation would shoot the guy charging at his family with a knife, democrat or not.


No because the dems want to outlaw gun ownership and are trying to disarm the citizens look at the Clintons and Obamas voting records, Not to say Both Bushies were any better, but the democommies and libtards hate gun ownership it threatens the dependance on the nanny-state
 Quoting: Storm 2 come


Damn,three Arkies postin on this thread.
Anonymous Coward
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09/27/2010 09:21 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Chawlee, are you a Southern Republican? lol!
Chawlee  (OP)

User ID: 661245
Switzerland
09/27/2010 09:25 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Chawlee, are you a Southern Republican? lol!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1086288


Southern Baptist
Storm 2 come

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09/27/2010 09:25 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
And a 3%er too!!!
 Quoting: dough dude



3%er, Southerner, Ozark running Hillbilly here. I have 2 freezers 1 for wild game( always full) and 1 for farm raised meat and vegies.
dough dude

User ID: 322602
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09/27/2010 09:27 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Chawlee, are you a Southern Republican? lol!


Southern Baptist
 Quoting: Chawlee

+1
Failing to plan, is planning to fail.

All intelligent people are conscious, not all conscious people are intelligent.
Evil Twin

09/27/2010 09:29 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.

 Quoting: Chawlee

lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1110147
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09/27/2010 09:31 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
A Rebublican would think it is one of his old boyfriends and sit there and lie to his family before they get wacked, Then the Republican would try to get a grab or whatever they do...
Anonymous Coward
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09/27/2010 09:31 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Chawlee, are you a Southern Republican? lol!


Southern Baptist
 Quoting: Chawlee



What state do you hail from, if'n you don't mind my asking.
Chawlee  (OP)

User ID: 661245
Switzerland
09/27/2010 09:33 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Chawlee, are you a Southern Republican? lol!


Southern Baptist



What state do you hail from, if'n you don't mind my asking.
 Quoting: hawk8414


Okie livin in Arkansas.

How ya doin Hawk?
Storm 2 come

User ID: 1105596
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09/27/2010 09:35 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Good example but I would add this, I do think the Dems are a bit more violent then we give them credit for.


It's a nice way to make fun of democrats, but anyone in that situation would shoot the guy charging at his family with a knife, democrat or not.


No because the dems want to outlaw gun ownership and are trying to disarm the citizens look at the Clintons and Obamas voting records, Not to say Both Bushies were any better, but the democommies and libtards hate gun ownership it threatens the dependance on the nanny-state


More left vs. right, Democrat vs. Republican, "liberal" vs. "conservative" bullshit.

C'mon people, wake the fuck up out of the government two-party / two-ideology PSYOP already.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1078178



We see the left-right ideology and for now must choose the lesser of two evils. However, I am waiting for it all to crash, once it dose people will be forced to learn how to live with Nature and by the laws of natural selection. when survival is at stake ideology gos out the window, which is what the OP's joke is all about..get it?
Hawk0

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09/27/2010 09:35 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
mowran2
:minimoran:
Anonymous Coward
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09/27/2010 09:37 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Chawlee, are you a Southern Republican? lol!


Southern Baptist



What state do you hail from, if'n you don't mind my asking.


Okie livin in Arkansas.

How ya doin Hawk?
 Quoting: Chawlee



I'm adoin'. Don't know if it's right or wrong,but hey, I'm doin' it. lol!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 247684
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09/27/2010 09:38 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Nice one. Nebraskan by birth, southerner by heart.
Riker

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09/27/2010 09:39 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
LOL
You shall know the TRUTH, and the TRUTH shall set you free.
*********************************
rikerglp (at) gmail.com
*********************************
Lurker
User ID: 601209
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09/27/2010 09:45 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Well, I'm a Southernor and a Democrat.

And I'm a *real* Southernor, 'cause everybody who is a *real* Southernor knows that it's not where you were born, but where your great-grandfather was born that makes the difference. And since I can trace my Georgia roots back to the 1700s, on both sides, and since my family owned a huge chunk of the piedmont of Georgia, (which everybody knows is a *real* Southern state, unlike Texas and Arkansas), I am a *real* Southernor.

And maybe it's 'cause I'm of strong, farm stock, or maybe it's 'cause real farmers don't jump to conclusions and real Southernors are prone to be suspicious of glitz and show biz, that I'm suspicious of any half-baked, emotional assumption that comes out of the Republican Party, ur ... ummmm .... I mean Fox News.

So yes, I can agree with the Democratic Party's position on gun control, which is simply that it's not healthy for law enforcement when the general public to own AK-47s.
Lurker
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09/27/2010 09:48 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Oh, and....
Here's a test.
What is the name of the war that occurred between 1860 and 1865 inside the continental United States?
Rev-bo

User ID: 538751
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09/27/2010 09:52 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
I would need two guns to get that many BANG!s before reloading, but rest assured, many clips would be emptied until I could be absolutely sure.

American by birth. Southern by the grace of God.
battleflag
John 8:32

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
Rev-bo

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09/27/2010 09:53 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Oh, and....
Here's a test.
What is the name of the war that occurred between 1860 and 1865 inside the continental United States?
 Quoting: Lurker 601209


That would be the War of Northern Aggression.

Or the War for Southern Independence.

I'm cool either way.
John 8:32

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
Evil Twin

09/27/2010 09:53 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
So yes, I can agree with the Democratic Party's position on gun control, which is simply that it's not healthy for law enforcement when the general public to own AK-47s.
 Quoting: Lurker 601209

I'm a Southern Literalist. I interpret "shall not be infringed" as "shall not be infringed", not "shall be infringed enough to make the authorities feel warm and fuzzy".

Last Edited by Evil Twin on 09/27/2010 09:55 AM
Anonymous Coward
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09/27/2010 09:54 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
We see the left-right ideology and for now must choose the lesser of two evils.
 Quoting: Storm 2 come


That's touching, but the fact is that even if you go down the "lesser of two evils" path you are perpetuating and reinforcing the two-party / two-ideology stereotype.

In fact, that's the plan...they set up a two-party system where you have three choices: support Party A, support Party B, or don't participate.

All three options work for TPTB.

(And yes I get the joke, and yes it's funny.)
Chawlee  (OP)

User ID: 661245
Switzerland
09/27/2010 09:56 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
So yes, I can agree with the Democratic Party's position on gun control, which is simply that it's not healthy for law enforcement when the general public to own AK-47s.

I'm a Southern Literalist. I interpret "shall not be infringed" as "shall not be infringed".
 Quoting: Evil Twin



Or Else!!!!!!!!!!! ape lol
Storm 2 come

User ID: 1105596
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09/27/2010 09:56 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Well, I'm a Southernor and a Democrat.

And I'm a *real* Southernor, 'cause everybody who is a *real* Southernor knows that it's not where you were born, but where your great-grandfather was born that makes the difference. And since I can trace my Georgia roots back to the 1700s, on both sides, and since my family owned a huge chunk of the piedmont of Georgia, (which everybody knows is a *real* Southern state, unlike Texas and Arkansas), I am a *real* Southernor.

And maybe it's 'cause I'm of strong, farm stock, or maybe it's 'cause real farmers don't jump to conclusions and real Southernors are prone to be suspicious of glitz and show biz, that I'm suspicious of any half-baked, emotional assumption that comes out of the Republican Party, ur ... ummmm .... I mean Fox News.

So yes, I can agree with the Democratic Party's position on gun control, which is simply that it's not healthy for law enforcement when the general public to own AK-47s.
 Quoting: Lurker 601209


A "real" southerner would know that Texas and Arkansas were part of the Confederate States. A "real" southerner would know that the 2nd Amendment is persisely for military grade weapons, to defend against Gov. I can trace my family Back to 1692 in NC and coming across TN and settling in AR in the 1840's. Your great Grandfather is rolling in his grave.
Anonymous Coward
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09/27/2010 09:57 AM
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
I'm Southerner...democrat...still have the scar on my stomach where the Republican Yankees shot me. (all good southerners who were raised properly were told as little kids that the bellybutton is where the yankees shot you)
As far as your little joke OP...you are far from correct...only the extremely limp wrist leftists are gun control enthusiasts. Most of us southern democrats have a well stocked gunsafe! And we vote for the man (or woman)...not the party.





GLP