Male egos, and strong, independant women...

Jeez, what about us men that want our egos stroked sincerely and honestly? I mean I'll do the same, sincerely and honestly. Honestly. I detest insincerity and dishonesty when it comes to women stroking my ego!

why do you need it though?


Because it's nice. The opposite is indifference, which is a killer to any relationship. Or dont you think?

I guess I see a difference between paying attention to a lover, and having havng to build up someone's fragile ego. Everyone should be responsible for their own self worth; their own self confidence. Men should not NEED their egos stroked. They should be doing that for themselves. Women can just give them a lover's attention which is extra. LIke gravy on top. Likewise, women should not look to men for validation, but appreciate the time spent with them.

Why is it when men do it it's because of their 'ego'
But when a woman does it it makes them 'strong and independent'?


Do what?

I read a very nice post by a male on here a bit ago, talking about Male Egos, and how women today don't 'stroke' it enough, therfore, men don't ask women out.

I felt the need to add a side bar to his thread, because while he may be speaking for some men, there are others that need to be adressed.

I'm talking about the men that get intimidated/jealous of a strong, independant woman.
I've had the problem with pretty much every man I've ever been with....no matter how much I 'stroke their ego" to make them feel good.
They just can't handle a woman that makes more money than they do...or is blessed with a gift that generates income without having to slave away at a job you hate.
My independance is threatning to them....because I do not 'need' them.

Personally, this bums me out to no end.......because when I'm in love with someone, I want to 'shine' for them...so they can be proud to be my partner...be able to tell their friends 'Yeah, that's MY GIRL!"
I know that personally, I'd much rather want to be in someone's life that 'wanted' me there, not because they 'needed" me to be there.

Are there no men out there that can appreciate a smart, talented , attractive, independant woman out there these days?

Why should we have to "pretend' that we 'need' you?
Why isn't it good enough that we love you , and want you in our lives?
Why do you get all threatened when we 'succeed', and are shining for you, so you will be proud to have us on your arm?!
Do you really want some woman that depends on you for EVERYTHING?
Emotional fulfilment, financial support, emotional support?
Seems to me it would get old pretty quick having to be EVERYTHING to another person, have them lean on you for it all.

Because of these things, is why I really don't date anymore.
I'm sick of having to fight to be me, to be 'allowed' to create...
Sick of men that get pissed off and leave because I made more money in 4 days, than they did in a month...
Sick of men that get all upset, because I don't need them in my life, I just 'want' them to be in it...

A woman's life does not have to revolve around a man, and I'm sick and tired of having to tip-toe around their so easily bruised egos.
Partnerships should be an equal exchange of love,respect, and support for one another...not some competition, or some deadly game of having to constantly prop up your partner's ego, or it all comes crashing down.

Strong independent women is just euphemism for bitch.

They were both wrong, and I don't have any regrets about doing those things at all.

Both of those women were out of line, and consumed by rage.

I'd place money that I spent more time and effort to instill good values in my son that you ever have.

I read a very nice post by a male on here a bit ago, talking about Male Egos, and how women today don't 'stroke' it enough, therfore, men don't ask women out.

I felt the need to add a side bar to his thread, because while he may be speaking for some men, there are others that need to be adressed.

I'm talking about the men that get intimidated/jealous of a strong, independant woman.
I've had the problem with pretty much every man I've ever been with....no matter how much I 'stroke their ego" to make them feel good.
They just can't handle a woman that makes more money than they do...or is blessed with a gift that generates income without having to slave away at a job you hate.
My independance is threatning to them....because I do not 'need' them.

Personally, this bums me out to no end.......because when I'm in love with someone, I want to 'shine' for them...so they can be proud to be my partner...be able to tell their friends 'Yeah, that's MY GIRL!"
I know that personally, I'd much rather want to be in someone's life that 'wanted' me there, not because they 'needed" me to be there.

Are there no men out there that can appreciate a smart, talented , attractive, independant woman out there these days?

Why should we have to "pretend' that we 'need' you?
Why isn't it good enough that we love you , and want you in our lives?
Why do you get all threatened when we 'succeed', and are shining for you, so you will be proud to have us on your arm?!
Do you really want some woman that depends on you for EVERYTHING?
Emotional fulfilment, financial support, emotional support?
Seems to me it would get old pretty quick having to be EVERYTHING to another person, have them lean on you for it all.

Because of these things, is why I really don't date anymore.
I'm sick of having to fight to be me, to be 'allowed' to create...
Sick of men that get pissed off and leave because I made more money in 4 days, than they did in a month...
Sick of men that get all upset, because I don't need them in my life, I just 'want' them to be in it...

A woman's life does not have to revolve around a man, and I'm sick and tired of having to tip-toe around their so easily bruised egos.
Partnerships should be an equal exchange of love,respect, and support for one another...not some competition, or some deadly game of having to constantly prop up your partner's ego, or it all comes crashing down.

I lost the best friend of my life in this manner and live with so much pain all I can do is work myself to death. If whatever power that is out there will get me to the plate one more time I would not make that mistake again. Success Money Power.........is nothing

They were both wrong, and I don't have any regrets about doing those things at all.

Both of those women were out of line, and consumed by rage.

I'd place money that I spent more time and effort to instill good values in my son that you ever have.




You have no regrets about doing something wrong?

And the women were consumed with rage, but you did the slapping?

Children learn from example.

I'm impressed with your consistency inconsistency, though.

A woman's life does not have to revolve around a man, and I'm sick and tired of having to tip-toe around their so easily bruised egos.
Partnerships should be an equal exchange of love,respect, and support for one another...not some competition, or some deadly game of having to constantly prop up your partner's ego, or it all comes crashing down.

When I am attracted to someone...me being an Aries girl, I normally am the 1 to ask them out for the first time.
So, no mixed signals..I make the first move.

Why is it when men do it it's because of their 'ego'
But when a woman does it it makes them 'strong and independent'?


Do what?


Oh come on.
If a man asserts his authority he has an ego problem (bad).
When women do the very same thing they are strong and independent(good).

I used to make great money and was miserable now I make a decent living and have time to live.

Yes i am looking for someone like you might have found that needle in the haystack.

Try to find the natural order of things and incorporate into your life.

There is one you know.


Could you please expound on this thought?
I'd like to know more about it.... :)

Why is it when men do it it's because of their 'ego'
But when a woman does it it makes them 'strong and independent'?


Do what?


Oh come on.
If a man asserts his authority he has an ego problem (bad).
When women do the very same thing they are strong and independent(good).

When I am attracted to someone...me being an Aries girl, I normally am the 1 to ask them out for the first time.
So, no mixed signals..I make the first move.



There's your FIRST mistake.

That is the QUICKEST way to get yourself into a dead-end go nowhere relationship.

Seriously, you would benefit from reading "The Rules" and some of Dr. Laura's books - and no, I am NOT kidding.

Try to find the natural order of things and incorporate into your life.

There is one you know.


Could you please expound on this thought?
I'd like to know more about it.... :)


Sadly, I am afraid woodsprite is not at all familiar with the natural law and natural order.

Oh come on Op! Go for the 23 yo. A 20 year age gap is workable.


LOL... I know from experience a 20 year gap is not a workable thing.
My son's sperm donor was 20 years older than me...and it didn't work at all!!!!

A woman's life does not have to revolve around a man, and I'm sick and tired of having to tip-toe around their so easily bruised egos.
Partnerships should be an equal exchange of love,respect, and support for one another...not some competition, or some deadly game of having to constantly prop up your partner's ego, or it all comes crashing down.


Hate to break it to ya bebe, but it just doesn't work the way *you* want it to work because it just wasn't designed to.

God made man and woman different - not equal. And woman was designed to be a man's helpmate, support, and heart of his household. A man doesn't want to be with another "man" which is essentially what you are. If you haven't been able to figure that out, you will forever be chasing your tail in circles and will end up in a really unhappy marriage that ends in a divorce.

When I am attracted to someone...me being an Aries girl, I normally am the 1 to ask them out for the first time.
So, no mixed signals..I make the first move.


There's your FIRST mistake.

That is the QUICKEST way to get yourself into a dead-end go nowhere relationship.

Seriously, you would benefit from reading "The Rules" and some of Dr. Laura's books - and no, I am NOT kidding.



If I don't make the first move...men are scared to approach me.
My physical appearance makes them nervous.
I was a model when I was younger, and I still do some today .
I've never been obnoxious to anyone that approached me....but I have learned that if I do not make the first move, and break the ice, I'll sit alone all night...because men are looking at the wrapper, and are thinking I'll instantly reject them.

Oh come on Op! Go for the 23 yo. A 20 year age gap is workable.


LOL... I know from experience a 20 year gap is not a workable thing.
My son's sperm donor was 20 years older than me...and it didn't work at all!!!!



If you think this is a "cheeky" remark, you have just inadvertently revealed your entire problem. Since this is how you view men, they can smell it a mile away, lady.

A woman's life does not have to revolve around a man, and I'm sick and tired of having to tip-toe around their so easily bruised egos.
Partnerships should be an equal exchange of love,respect, and support for one another...not some competition, or some deadly game of having to constantly prop up your partner's ego, or it all comes crashing down.


Hate to break it to ya bebe, but it just doesn't work the way *you* want it to work because it just wasn't designed to.

God made man and woman different - not equal. And woman was designed to be a man's helpmate, support, and heart of his household. A man doesn't want to be with another "man" which is essentially what you are. If you haven't been able to figure that out, you will forever be chasing your tail in circles and will end up in a really unhappy marriage that ends in a divorce.


Sorry, but I believe that is utter Bullshit.
You sound like so many religious fanatics out there, like the ones that force women to cover their entire body, and walk 2 steps behind the man.
No, I won't end up that way...because I plan on never marrying again.

I read a very nice post by a male on here a bit ago, talking about Male Egos, and how women today don't 'stroke' it enough, therfore, men don't ask women out.

I felt the need to add a side bar to his thread, because while he may be speaking for some men, there are others that need to be adressed.

I'm talking about the men that get intimidated/jealous of a strong, independant woman.
I've had the problem with pretty much every man I've ever been with....no matter how much I 'stroke their ego" to make them feel good.
They just can't handle a woman that makes more money than they do...or is blessed with a gift that generates income without having to slave away at a job you hate.
My independance is threatning to them....because I do not 'need' them.

Personally, this bums me out to no end.......because when I'm in love with someone, I want to 'shine' for them...so they can be proud to be my partner...be able to tell their friends 'Yeah, that's MY GIRL!"
I know that personally, I'd much rather want to be in someone's life that 'wanted' me there, not because they 'needed" me to be there.

Are there no men out there that can appreciate a smart, talented , attractive, independant woman out there these days?

Why should we have to "pretend' that we 'need' you?
Why isn't it good enough that we love you , and want you in our lives?
Why do you get all threatened when we 'succeed', and are shining for you, so you will be proud to have us on your arm?!
Do you really want some woman that depends on you for EVERYTHING?
Emotional fulfilment, financial support, emotional support?
Seems to me it would get old pretty quick having to be EVERYTHING to another person, have them lean on you for it all.

Because of these things, is why I really don't date anymore.
I'm sick of having to fight to be me, to be 'allowed' to create...
Sick of men that get pissed off and leave because I made more money in 4 days, than they did in a month...
Sick of men that get all upset, because I don't need them in my life, I just 'want' them to be in it...

A woman's life does not have to revolve around a man, and I'm sick and tired of having to tip-toe around their so easily bruised egos.
Partnerships should be an equal exchange of love,respect, and support for one another...not some competition, or some deadly game of having to constantly prop up your partner's ego, or it all comes crashing down.

When I am attracted to someone...me being an Aries girl, I normally am the 1 to ask them out for the first time.
So, no mixed signals..I make the first move.


There's your FIRST mistake.

That is the QUICKEST way to get yourself into a dead-end go nowhere relationship.

Seriously, you would benefit from reading "The Rules" and some of Dr. Laura's books - and no, I am NOT kidding.



If I don't make the first move...men are scared to approach me.
My physical appearance makes them nervous.
I was a model when I was younger, and I still do some today .
I've never been obnoxious to anyone that approached me....but I have learned that if I do not make the first move, and break the ice, I'll sit alone all night...because men are looking at the wrapper, and are thinking I'll instantly reject them.



Not true.

And, yes, I speak from personal experience. You're just antsy and being overly controlling. I know this as a reformed former feminist who also happens to be beautiful. Men will always come to you - IF you LET them. ;0)

I read a very nice post by a male on here a bit ago, talking about Male Egos, and how women today don't 'stroke' it enough, therfore, men don't ask women out.

I felt the need to add a side bar to his thread, because while he may be speaking for some men, there are others that need to be adressed.

I'm talking about the men that get intimidated/jealous of a strong, independant woman.
I've had the problem with pretty much every man I've ever been with....no matter how much I 'stroke their ego" to make them feel good.
They just can't handle a woman that makes more money than they do...or is blessed with a gift that generates income without having to slave away at a job you hate.
My independance is threatning to them....because I do not 'need' them.

Personally, this bums me out to no end.......because when I'm in love with someone, I want to 'shine' for them...so they can be proud to be my partner...be able to tell their friends 'Yeah, that's MY GIRL!"
I know that personally, I'd much rather want to be in someone's life that 'wanted' me there, not because they 'needed" me to be there.

Are there no men out there that can appreciate a smart, talented , attractive, independant woman out there these days?

Why should we have to "pretend' that we 'need' you?
Why isn't it good enough that we love you , and want you in our lives?
Why do you get all threatened when we 'succeed', and are shining for you, so you will be proud to have us on your arm?!
Do you really want some woman that depends on you for EVERYTHING?
Emotional fulfilment, financial support, emotional support?
Seems to me it would get old pretty quick having to be EVERYTHING to another person, have them lean on you for it all.

Because of these things, is why I really don't date anymore.
I'm sick of having to fight to be me, to be 'allowed' to create...
Sick of men that get pissed off and leave because I made more money in 4 days, than they did in a month...
Sick of men that get all upset, because I don't need them in my life, I just 'want' them to be in it...

A woman's life does not have to revolve around a man, and I'm sick and tired of having to tip-toe around their so easily bruised egos.
Partnerships should be an equal exchange of love,respect, and support for one another...not some competition, or some deadly game of having to constantly prop up your partner's ego, or it all comes crashing down.

Go crawl back into that festering womb from whence you were shat and keep your needless opinions away.

No, I won't end up that way...because I plan on never marrying again.

A woman's life does not have to revolve around a man, and I'm sick and tired of having to tip-toe around their so easily bruised egos.
Partnerships should be an equal exchange of love,respect, and support for one another...not some competition, or some deadly game of having to constantly prop up your partner's ego, or it all comes crashing down.


Hate to break it to ya bebe, but it just doesn't work the way *you* want it to work because it just wasn't designed to.

God made man and woman different - not equal. And woman was designed to be a man's helpmate, support, and heart of his household. A man doesn't want to be with another "man" which is essentially what you are. If you haven't been able to figure that out, you will forever be chasing your tail in circles and will end up in a really unhappy marriage that ends in a divorce.


Sorry, but I believe that is utter Bullshit.
You sound like so many religious fanatics out there, like the ones that force women to cover their entire body, and walk 2 steps behind the man.
No, I won't end up that way...because I plan on never marrying again.


This has nothing to do with religion. This is the way we were MADE. It is called the natural law. Men and women were designed to interact in a specific way for very specific reasons. Call it something else if it makes you feel better. It's just the way it IS. The sooner you wrap your head around that, without feeling ANGRY about it and trying to FIGHT it, the sooner you will find a man to LOVE you.

I'm Bisexual
Native Spiritual people call me 'Heyoka"....both sides equally developed, I walk backwards to bring balance to the circle.

After my first husband, I ended up with a 'wife', for 8 years.

3 years after the wife, I married my second husband.

I can fall in love with either sex...I don't just see the outer wrapper when it comes to people...what's inside is more important to me than their genetals.

No, I won't end up that way...because I plan on never marrying again.


I missed this.

So, what exactly is your point then? WHAT is it you are looking for? If you don't WANT to find someone to spend the rest of your days on earth with someone who loves you and will take care of you when you're 80 and crapping in a diaper, then what are you doing? Just hoping to find a series of meaningless relationships until your looks run out??

Just hoping to find a series of meaningless relationships until your looks run out??