Memo to my family...will it work?

Doubt anyone will read it to the end.


Good luck with that. Seriously.

-- A quick question -- When you were raising your children - didn't you train them to do those things? And expect and demand chores to be done?

I think individual notes would be more personal, and possibly have greater impact than a generalized '@ you all' note

Fabulous!!

News I can use!


And it has the added benefit of preparing the children for reading corporate memos!

I think individual notes would be more personal, and possibly have greater impact than a generalized '@ you all' note

I thought of that, but at least one of them will feel 'all victimized' by targeted instruction.

I think individual notes would be more personal, and possibly have greater impact than a generalized '@ you all' note

I thought of that, but at least one of them will feel 'all victimized' by targeted instruction.


Well, I dunno then.. I'd put myself in their shoes, which you probably already have done

brb, posting this on passiveaggressivenotes.com

Doubt anyone will read it to the end.


Good luck with that. Seriously.

-- A quick question -- When you were raising your children - didn't you train them to do those things? And expect and demand chores to be done?


Yes, I did. One does pick up her share fairly well, but is still young enough to be sloppy in her work. The other one is a stepchild I wish I'd gotten my hands on about seven years earlier who is also in the midst of the teen-angst phase. The younger one gets pissed that the older one doesn't do anything and sometimes exhibits her own passive-aggressive behaviors, I think.

Doubt anyone will read it to the end.


Good luck with that. Seriously.

-- A quick question -- When you were raising your children - didn't you train them to do those things? And expect and demand chores to be done?


Yes, I did. One does pick up her share fairly well, but is still young enough to be sloppy in her work. The other one is a stepchild I wish I'd gotten my hands on about seven years earlier who is also in the midst of the teen-angst phase. The younger one gets pissed that the older one doesn't do anything and sometimes exhibits her own passive-aggressive behaviors, I think.


Re step-child -- Then Dad needs to come down hard on this one. Probably privately. Seriously -

I can't blame the younger one. Can you?

Doubt anyone will read it to the end.


Good luck with that. Seriously.

-- A quick question -- When you were raising your children - didn't you train them to do those things? And expect and demand chores to be done?

The following is the memo I intend to post on my refrigerator later tonight. Will this have the desired impact? Any positive outcome at all will be a huge victory at this point.

I appreciate your feedback:



MEMO

Date: 03.01.2010
To: Family
From: Mom
Re: Chores, Housework and Other Assorted Horrors

I am increasingly agitated with the state of affairs and am beginning to feel very much disrespected and taken advantage of by the various members of my household.

Please keep the following points in mind:

...I am not your servant. Each of you is big now. There is no reason I should need to remind you repeatedly to pick up your stuff, wipe up your messes, rinse out your dishes, throw away your trash, put your coats and jackets away and/or do it for you. Please be considerate and try to leave things the way you found them. Also, if you see something that needs to be done that may not have been specifically assigned to you, or which you feel may not necessarily be your personal responsibility, please do it in the spirit of household teamwork. Good karma is its own reward!

...In the spirit of leaving things the way you found them, please rinse out the sink when you dump coffee, hot chocolate, fruit or vegetable juice, food, or anything else in it. I have grown weary of scrubbing it each time I would like to use if for something like washing produce. In the spirit of rinsing things out: I appreciate that you've wiped up your mess, please rinse out the sponge/dishcloth so that I do not have to replace it every other day (or more frequently as the case may be). Additionally, please wipe your messes up off the counters in the kitchen. When you've finished, rinse out the sponge/dishcloth you've just used.

...You only have one face. That includes your mouth. Please reuse your glass/coffee cup repeatedly in any given day. I was dishes daily; sometimes several times each day. You do not. To open the cabinet and find no clean glasses is a clear indication of glass-use abuse. You can rinse it out and reuse it. Please see the above item for more detail. Similarly, to those of you who stir your coffee (or any other beverage) with spoons: please reuse your spoon. I regularly find two, three, or more spoons on the counter that have been used to stir coffee within a period of several hours. Just as you would rinse out your glass and/or coffee cup, please rinse off the coffee spoon for later use. This will also help prevent the pool of congealed coffee/creamer/sugar I regularly scrub off the counter. Tutorials on How to Run the Dishwasher are available on request at no cost.

...If you spill a trail of crud/sticky/yuck/food/beverage/other on the stairs/all the way up the stairs/in the hallway, please take yourself immediately to the appropriate room to find a paper towel, dampen it, and clean up your mess.

...Please be considerate of other members of your household and think of the next person coming into a situation. Example: If you use all the toilet paper, please replace the roll. You can surely imagine how awkward it might be to find yourself in a situation with no toilet paper because the person in front of you was inconsiderate. To a lesser degree, this also includes paper towels. If anyone is not sure where these items are kept, please come see me for the tour. In the same vein, if you find that you've the last of any manner of grocery, personal hygiene, or other product, please immediately alert an adult so they may add that item to the list of things that need to replaced.

...Chores are not optional. Please do your chores daily as indicated unless there are extenuating circumstances. “I didn't want to/I forgot/I'll do it later” does not count as an extenuating circumstance. I also should not have to call home at five o'clock to remind you to do your chores so they can be completed prior to my arrival. If your chores include cleaning your room, that needs to be done properly as well. Chores, whether or not indicated in writing, always include making sure the dogs are fed, watered and walked.

I have, admittedly, attempted passive-aggressive behavior in the past: I just simply will not do it* until someone else does. I have come to the conclusion through those attempts that no one will do it* if I do not. Since this behavior has been ineffective, I'd appreciate your cooperation in the above items.

Please initial in the margins of this memo to indicate you have read and understand its contents. If you do not understand the contents of this memo, please approach me and I will address them with you on an individual basis. If you do not initial that you have read and understand the contents of this memo, I will actively seek you out and cover the document point-by-point until such time as I feel confident in your comprehension. Thank you.

*it includes housework, chores, picking up, routine maintenance, etc.


/end memo

Thanks in advance, GLPers, for your contribution and feedback.

I think individual notes would be more personal, and possibly have greater impact than a generalized '@ you all' note

I thought of that, but at least one of them will feel 'all victimized' by targeted instruction.


Well, I dunno then.. I'd put myself in their shoes, which you probably already have done

I neglected to mention that one of the targets of this memo is my spouse.

The following is the memo I intend to post on my refrigerator later tonight. Will this have the desired impact? Any positive outcome at all will be a huge victory at this point.

I appreciate your feedback:



MEMO

Date: 03.01.2010
To: Family
From: Mom
Re: Chores, Housework and Other Assorted Horrors

I am increasingly agitated with the state of affairs and am beginning to feel very much disrespected and taken advantage of by the various members of my household.

Please keep the following points in mind:

...I am not your servant. Each of you is big now. There is no reason I should need to remind you repeatedly to pick up your stuff, wipe up your messes, rinse out your dishes, throw away your trash, put your coats and jackets away and/or do it for you. Please be considerate and try to leave things the way you found them. Also, if you see something that needs to be done that may not have been specifically assigned to you, or which you feel may not necessarily be your personal responsibility, please do it in the spirit of household teamwork. Good karma is its own reward!

...In the spirit of leaving things the way you found them, please rinse out the sink when you dump coffee, hot chocolate, fruit or vegetable juice, food, or anything else in it. I have grown weary of scrubbing it each time I would like to use if for something like washing produce. In the spirit of rinsing things out: I appreciate that you've wiped up your mess, please rinse out the sponge/dishcloth so that I do not have to replace it every other day (or more frequently as the case may be). Additionally, please wipe your messes up off the counters in the kitchen. When you've finished, rinse out the sponge/dishcloth you've just used.

...You only have one face. That includes your mouth. Please reuse your glass/coffee cup repeatedly in any given day. I was dishes daily; sometimes several times each day. You do not. To open the cabinet and find no clean glasses is a clear indication of glass-use abuse. You can rinse it out and reuse it. Please see the above item for more detail. Similarly, to those of you who stir your coffee (or any other beverage) with spoons: please reuse your spoon. I regularly find two, three, or more spoons on the counter that have been used to stir coffee within a period of several hours. Just as you would rinse out your glass and/or coffee cup, please rinse off the coffee spoon for later use. This will also help prevent the pool of congealed coffee/creamer/sugar I regularly scrub off the counter. Tutorials on How to Run the Dishwasher are available on request at no cost.

...If you spill a trail of crud/sticky/yuck/food/beverage/other on the stairs/all the way up the stairs/in the hallway, please take yourself immediately to the appropriate room to find a paper towel, dampen it, and clean up your mess.

...Please be considerate of other members of your household and think of the next person coming into a situation. Example: If you use all the toilet paper, please replace the roll. You can surely imagine how awkward it might be to find yourself in a situation with no toilet paper because the person in front of you was inconsiderate. To a lesser degree, this also includes paper towels. If anyone is not sure where these items are kept, please come see me for the tour. In the same vein, if you find that you've the last of any manner of grocery, personal hygiene, or other product, please immediately alert an adult so they may add that item to the list of things that need to replaced.

...Chores are not optional. Please do your chores daily as indicated unless there are extenuating circumstances. “I didn't want to/I forgot/I'll do it later” does not count as an extenuating circumstance. I also should not have to call home at five o'clock to remind you to do your chores so they can be completed prior to my arrival. If your chores include cleaning your room, that needs to be done properly as well. Chores, whether or not indicated in writing, always include making sure the dogs are fed, watered and walked.

I have, admittedly, attempted passive-aggressive behavior in the past: I just simply will not do it* until someone else does. I have come to the conclusion through those attempts that no one will do it* if I do not. Since this behavior has been ineffective, I'd appreciate your cooperation in the above items.

Please initial in the margins of this memo to indicate you have read and understand its contents. If you do not understand the contents of this memo, please approach me and I will address them with you on an individual basis. If you do not initial that you have read and understand the contents of this memo, I will actively seek you out and cover the document point-by-point until such time as I feel confident in your comprehension. Thank you.

*it includes housework, chores, picking up, routine maintenance, etc.


/end memo

Thanks in advance, GLPers, for your contribution and feedback.


Whatever, just make me a sammich and shut the fuck up...

Sure thing. Just let me finish your laundry first...

I think individual notes would be more personal, and possibly have greater impact than a generalized '@ you all' note

I thought of that, but at least one of them will feel 'all victimized' by targeted instruction.


Well, I dunno then.. I'd put myself in their shoes, which you probably already have done

I neglected to mention that one of the targets of this memo is my spouse.


You can't discuss it with your spouse and present a united front?

Oh bums

Doubt anyone will read it to the end.


Good luck with that. Seriously.

-- A quick question -- When you were raising your children - didn't you train them to do those things? And expect and demand chores to be done?


I did.

My kids have chores, most they do without being told too.

Hi OP, I've been there and know how you are feeling. My four kids have families of their own now and yes, I miss those days of having to pick up after them, trying to get them to take responsibility for their messes. Just know this: if they don't respond to your memo as hoped, just keep on keeping on. Smile and love them in spite of their inconsiderate sloppiness. They are with you for such a short time. Make your home a happy place. If you can't keep up with their sloppiness, they probably won't even notice. Just do the things you feel up to doing.

Not saying I was always good at following this advice, but I am happier remembering the happy times when I wasn't nagging or fussing at them.

I know it seems trite, but with kids.... just enjoy the journey.

I may copy and paste that note and put it up on my fridge! You are probably only getting negative responses from youngsters who do not pull their weight in the house. I feel your pain. I have 3 teens in my home and today I screamed at the top of my lungs that the SPECIAL MAGIC CLEANING FAIRY was no longer going to visit our house. Well - they thought that was funny as shit. They aren't going to think it's so funny when it becomes evident that she really won't be by anymore. You can lead a horse to water....... and then send it off to college or work. I love them but I am ready for them to leave the nest. Teenagers - Gods way of helping us let go.

Doubt anyone will read it to the end.


Good luck with that. Seriously.

-- A quick question -- When you were raising your children - didn't you train them to do those things? And expect and demand chores to be done?


I did.

My kids have chores, most they do without being told too.



Yep. Mine too.

- re motivation for the op -- have you tried fairness? You know - the following spiel -- Because you live here, you must contribute. It is only fair.

Then there is always the door/ass situation--

This is how we do things here. If you don't like it .. don't let the door hit ya in the ass.